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Am I Wrong for Refusing Her Friendship?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

God bless you for the impact you’re making. This is my story. I was friends with a lady for two years and it was around April this year that I made my intentions known to her. Both of us are 24 years and in our final year in tertiary. Before accepting my proposal, she told me about all that transpired in her previous relationship and how her ex cheated on her with her friend etc.

I told her that’s her past and everyone’s got a past they ain’t proud of so if only she has gotten over him and wants to take a step with me, I will give her time to get over it. She responded in the affirmative after she requested for me to give her about a week to think things through and pray about it. After a week, her response was positive and this was in the first week of May.

Everything was great from the beginning. The Romeo and Juliet distin some dey. Chai, chairman fall in love. Whenever she called and I couldn’t pick up, she’d call my mum to find out whether I was asleep or why I wasn’t answering. Oh everything dey move on well. We talked about plans after school, she wanted to do her top up for degree right after school and I already had plans to either do my masters or go to the medical school right after service.

Auntie Abena, everything dey move on well. Then things began to take a twist. I was about to see my smoothness level. It happens that her mum and I share the same birthday (by then we had reported to school to prepare for our final years, that was June this year). I vibed plus her mum den things and made mention that I’ll come over after exams to celebrate it with her (please by this time she had already introduced me to her mum…her dad is late).

On my birthday, my woman posted me on her status but her caption “thank you Lord” got me worried. For God’s sake that day wasn’t 31st December! It was your guy’s birthday! I questioned her and her response was, she stays with her married elder brother (which is true because I’ve been there twice) and she didn’t want her brother’s wife to start questioning her on her dating whilst in school.

Heeerh, I vex small. This shoddy no give me alewa for my birthday but sekof she come cook give me that day, I take am sey that be my birthday present. We never got intimate because she told me all the guys who came her way after having their way with her dumped her.

I understood her and decided to stay away from sex if that will make her happy. That day she showed me some pics of shoes she screenshot before leaving for her campus (we’re in the same region though but different schools) So on her birthday in July, around 12am exactly I bell am. I had a paper to write that morning too at 8am.

We vibed for an hour before I told her I got to continue with my studies because I got a paper in the morning. Later in the day, I surprised her with one of the high heels she had screenshot on her phone. I finished my exams two weeks before she did. I called to congratulate her den tins.

I couldn’t wait for her because we were told by the school authorities to leave campus and my hostel manager too dey stress us to leave since we’re done. I explained everything to her and she was calm. Few days after she was done with her exams, she called to tell me she can’t continue with the relationship again.

Auntie Abena, her reason is that I am too selfish and that when I called to congratulate her I didn’t even bother to congratulate her roommate (who is her best friend as well). Auntie Abena, that day I talk my mind. I made her know that she’s the one I’m dating, not her friend but this shoddy say naa.

Sekof I noe talk her bestie and that I don’t love her friends so we for break up. Line basaa sei. She brought up flimsy excuses. We settled everything amicably after speaking for 30 minutes. Auntie Abena, I thought we had settled everything, only for her to call back 5 minutes later that she doesn’t think this relationship will work out so we should remain friends.

Wey I talk am sey naaa, if ebi friends I dey want aa I no go come propose give you. And that if she wants friendship, then she should count me out because her excuse for breaking up doesn’t hold water. So we broke up in August. Relationship duration make short like one network bundle bi I know.

Auntie Abena she called recently that I’m heartless and that I don’t care about her den tins. Wey I reminded her that we ain’t dating and moreover I told her if we lose this relationship, we’ll lose the friendship as well. Did I do anything wrong?

Written by Abena Magis

2 Comments

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  1. Masa,dawg am koraaaa, she no bi serious. I guess that bi what she did in her previous relationship. Maybe koraaaa,she and her besties are lesbians

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