DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
I get mad when l see people justifying the cheating acts of husbands. It’s so annoying when l hear people blame wives for the spirit of cheating in their husbands and we glorify it by saying “all men are cheats.”
Who normalized cheating? Why should we always be telling women to endure a life of cheating and emotional abusive from their husbands? Well, let me tell you, cheating ain’t for all men but for some category of men.
There are two categories;
Some men were cheats before marriage and can’t come to terms with sticking to just one “hole” forever so no amount of sex styles from their legal wives can satisfy them. So to satisfy themselves, they chase everything in skirt and can still chase the young househelp in the house just to satisfy their lustful desires.
These kind of people can’t just be satisfied with even more wives. They are used to chasing and marriage can’t stop them. So no matter how you kill yourself for such people they wish but can’t stop because it has become a habit. These kind of people even if they sign a contract with God not to cheat, l bet you they will be charged with judgement debt. So to say they cheat because the women deny them, l disagree.
The second category of cheaters are those who might not necessarily be natural cheats but learn to do it in the marriage.
This is because;
We failed to teach men that there’s something called bodily changes in women and that the standing breast and the sexy bodies will naturally not remain the same forever.
We failed to teach men that during pregnancy, the appearance of their wives could change hence they should prepare to stay with it.
We failed to teach men that as the women bring out those beautiful kids through that part of the body, the hole might not remain as tight as it used to be and so they should understand instead of searching for tighter holes outside.
We failed to let men know that the wrinkles on that once smooth stomach are the main reason why they have to respect their wives the more but not rather insult them of not being beautiful.
These men relied mostly on appearance to choose their wives so now that natural situations have changed that beauty, they begin to look for the beauty outside instead of understanding.
These men haven’t realised that there’s a difference between marriage and dating.
All we care about is advising women on how to be patient with cheating husbands.
But my dear ladies there are still good men out there for you. You can still find a millet in a maize farm. No matter how full the forest is with trees, you can still find grasses there. There are many out there who avoid temptations just to be faithful to their wives hence can’t be part of the “all men are cheats” phrase.
This is just by the way. Let’s go back.
So instead of telling women to always appear sexy to entice their men to stay, we must teach men to know and understand the natural body changes in women due to child birth and age.
So l appeal to the marriage counsellors, pastors and Imams to teach men to understand that understanding the body changes in women and sticking to her makes you a real man.
My name is Chief lddi and l say, let’s teach men to be faithful instead of always teaching women to endure.