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Couples – I’m a Second Wife

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Good morning please,
About the married couples, can I share my story? Please keep me hidden. First time sharing. 

I’m a second wife but we’re not Muslims. It’ll shock you but there are many like us. I have sisters who are first or second wives and even my own mother who passed away 8 years ago was a 4th wife. It’s in our law that you can marry more than one. My husband is a best farmer and I remember how my friends were telling me, “ahhh A, you’re not serious. You’re going to marry a farmer and be his second wife on top?” I’m happy to say that I didn’t listen to them. I’m happily married with 2 kids to a loving husband whose first wife has been more than a sister. We’ve been married for 7 years now and my husband is an SHS graduate. Those of my friends who didn’t understand now envy me.

Auntie Abena, marriage is what you make of it. That’s what my mother always said. Society will tell you this is bad, this is wrong but it’s between you and your husband. The two of you have to understand each other and build a life together. Yes. He’s done the civil with his first wife and the customary with me but he’s built properties in my name that nobody dare touch even after his death.

Auntie, it’s not about the money oh. There are women in Ghana that will say no to being a 2nd or 3rd wife, no matter how rich he is. It’s about you as a woman and the man you’re marrying, and the future you want to plan together.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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