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My Dad Wants Me to Ruin My Girlfriend’s Wedding

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I’m a photographer and painter and have dated this girl for almost 7 years. We’ve dated from age 19 when we met at a remedial school. She knows I’ve plans of marrying her by this year ending.

Getting gigs last year was bad because of the COVID but slowly things picked up and I started getting business. I was busy during most weekends when she was less busy but I made sure to talk to her at least once a day. Because she’s 4 hours away from me, visiting her or having her come over hasn’t been frequent like the past years.

Just 2 weeks ago, a friend of a friend told me of a fast gig. The photographer booked for a wedding had a prior booking and wanted to slide it over to me for a percentage. My friend wanted to know if I’ll agree. The money wasn’t bad so I agreed. I asked for the details and tears just started flowing down. It’s my girlfriend. I called her right that morning till evening but she didn’t pick which made me worry that maybe she’d somehow gotten to know that I know about her wedding.

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She called me back the following day with no apologies and asking how I’m doing. We talked like normal then she asked me to send her GHS100 for something. I don’t know why I sent it. We’ve been talking everyday since then but I’ve never confronted her on it. I told my old boy and now Poppy wants me to attend the wedding and ruin it by speaking out when the pastor asks if anybody has anything to say.

Auntie Abena, his reasons are valid to me. Since day 1 that this girl and I started dating, it’s been myself and Poppy taking care of this girl. Her mother refused to take care of her because of how her father was behaving. What she’ll eat and wear was on me. Dad liked her and would give me money to give to her, they were very close until she disrespected him 3 years ago and since then communication between them became bad but he’s never told me to dump her.

For the past 3 years, I send her GHS1000 every month even though she’s working (pay is nothing better though). Please tell me, how many guys do this? We’ve slept just once too because I’m very big on waiting till marriage. The one time we did was very good but we promised ourselves not to do it until marriage and this is how she’s paying me?

Something tells me not to go and something tells me to go but though I don’t abide by Poppy’s advice, don’t you think it’ll be good to do it? The other man has to know the real woman he’s marrying.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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