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Advice – Dating a Man of God

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Good evening. I would like to share my thought on dating a man of God. They were triggered by the issue of the lady whose husband was a pastor and messed up her finances.

From my observation and from personal experience, most of us young ladies are with men of God just because of the prestige attached or because we think they won’t cheat on us or hurt us or they’ll make our lives perfect.

It’s just unfortunate that some of these young pastors and co. are into ministry because they want to earn money without working very hard for it, gain respect and to be feared.

I only want to open eyes of ladies who may be dating this category of people, on some of the things they should expect.

  1. Every least thing, they’ll remind you of their status; “don’t forget who I am,” “I am anointed” etc. This is a way to get you to fear them. Some of them will make you believe that if you go against their will, they can fast and pray and hurt you or pronounce a curse upon your life. We hear them on radio and TV daily.

2. Some of them will constantly borrow money from you and others without paying. Some think it’s their right for women to spend on them. They spend foolishly, especially on clothes and shoes just to impress others.

3. Some spend a lot of time on social media texting and flirting with other women under the pretext of “I am doing my father’s work.”

4. Some are lazy and do not like to bring up initiatives. All they do is to profit from your ideas.

5. Some tell lies. They will make you believe they love you but in fact you may be one of the ladies they’re “testing.” In fact, some of them fuck a lot of unmarried and married ladies in the church.

6. Some are very proud and arrogant. They do not like to be corrected. They don’t give you the chance to be yourself or to even learn. They’ll impose their choices on you as well (clothing, use of social media, relating to friends etc.)

All I’m saying is, despite the fact that they’re into ministry, let us not assume that they are automatically perfect. Don’t be blinded by “he will change” or “I can’t leave him because I’m afraid of what will happen”, “I will fast and pray for him.”

Love isn’t fear or pain or intimidation. Be strong to walk away. If it doesn’t change now, marriage won’t change it, my dear ladies. Be wise!

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Written by Abena Magis

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