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Dear Auntie Abena – My Husband Did a Secret DNA Test

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I kind of feel disappointed  in my husband.

9 months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She’s very fair and has curly hair.

 

 

2 weeks after I gave birth, my mother inlaw visited, took one look at my baby and just concluded the baby wasn’t for her son just because she bears no resemblance to either me or my husband (we are both dark skinned).

Hmm, my mother-inlaw refused to touch my baby. I even overheard her telling her son to tell me to look for the father of my daughter. She left and reported me to her daughters (my sisters inlaw) and they called to insult me, accusing me of being a prostitute which I ignored.

 

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Auntie Abena, I dated my husband for 2 years and I became pregnant a few months before we got married. I’ve never cheated on him which he knows. His friends saw my baby and advised him to go for a DNA test to which he said no. They even teased him with it. My husband has been transferred so we are living in separate places. I was cleaning our room recently when I came across the results of a DNA paternity testing inside his pillow which shows 99.98% my baby is his.

 

Let’s meet on http://www.mapady.com

The test was done 3 months ago and I knew nothing about. I feel very disappointed about this. My question is can you have a baby who will bear no resemblance to anybody in the family?

Also, since he has had this result for 3 months why hasn’t he spoken to his mum about it? Because even last month his sister visited and called my daughter a bastard. I feel very hurt at his behavior and need answers on the best way to go about it.

Written by Abena Magis

Comments

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  1. My dear is it very possible that u can have a child and wont look like u..my 2nd bares no resemblance to my husband or me..very fair..oyibo paa😁 we had people ask who he looked like..I got tired one day and replied someone his dad is different😀😀😀…long and short he took after my dad ,my grandmother showed me a picture of my dad as a toddler infact u will think that was my son ryt there..so dont worry it happens..as for the DNA I feel it unfair at least he should have told u to put u out of ur misery,take a picture and confront him..u also deserve ur peace of mind

  2. How can our hubby carried a baby to the hospital without you knowing? Well, I see nothing wrong with what your hubby did as any one in such issue of teasing from family and friends will do same. Be glad you prove your innocence through his secret test, sit him down that you have seen it and ⁰amicably suggest to him to call family meeting at your absence or presence to tell his family the truth.

  3. Hmmmmm
    It’s not his fault. Sometime s family pressure is too much. Especially when mothers are involved.

    Maybe he wanted to prove his mum and sisters as well as friends wrong.

    Just talk to him but in a nice way

  4. He should have discussed it with you before doing it but I can understand him . If he suggested a DNA to you, you would have complained that he doesn’t trust you and has accused you of infidelity. If the child truly doesn’t bare any resemblance with either of you and his family is behaving like you have described, it’s very normal that he will want to clear any doubt created in his mind.
    He didn’t keep you in the know because he didn’t want to hurt you. You aren’t also wrong of being hurt but find it in your heart and forgive him. He didn’t mean to hurt you.

  5. Make copies of the DNA results and send a copy to each of them
    Paste one in you hall and in your bedroom , relax and wait for ur husband to ask why you did that .then you can bring out everything in my mind in a peaceful manner.take heart

    • My dear just make photocopies of the results and send one copy each to your mother and sisters in law. If they ask where you got the results from, simply tell them to ask their son (brother)

      Don’t be so emotional about he not telling you of the DNA. what’s important is that you got the results which is in your favor

      Cheers and all the best

  6. Please don’t worry about this issue. Do you personally know everyone in your family or your husband’s family? It’s a family gene and the child may look like someone in either families. I personally look like my father’s junior brother who passed on before I was even born as such I was given his name.

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