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Dilemma Over My Two Wives

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I’m in your inbox today to elicit responses from you and your fans with regards to an issue that is threatening my emotional stability and mental health.

At 30 years of age, I met this young lady of 20 years. We dated for sometime. I worshipped her mother and knelt before her to give her lumpy gifts of cash. Her assurance to me was that, “when my daughter gains admission into the university you can go ahead and marry her but, not now when she’s at home doing nothing.” We all agreed.

After 2 years, she gained admission to do a long distance course with Winneba. Then I showed up with the bride price. I was turned away by her people on the grounds that she must finish school and start working before we get married. But she was pregnant for me so I’d wanted to do the right thing.

I disclosed this to her mother who finally agreed on the marriage but my lady insisted on abortion, saying pregnancy will affect her studies. I did everything to convince her but failed. Later, under her mother’s supervision, she had an abortion but told me it was a miscarriage. I told her I know what she did but I’ve forgiven her and pray God forgives her too.

She also quit the relationship with me on the grounds that she wanted time to concentrate on her studies. I reported this to her mother who didn’t take it seriously enough to advise her daughter for me. I begged this girl for close to a year but nothing worked. She was still adamant.

Due to the way friends and family were mocking me for following someone who didn’t want me, I decided to quickly marry. I found another lady and married her within 2 months, to my current regret.

My 1st wife has no academic credentials with very poor WASSCE results which means she can’t further her education to also become financially beneficial to the family. I realised the worse mistake of my life too late.

Auntie Abena, two weeks after my marriage, my ex found her way back into my arms with promises to become my 2nd wife as it’s the Muslim custom and I agreed. After a year of marriage, both of them fell pregnant for me.

My 2nd wife chose another abortion and begun dating my close door neighbour. She either passes behind or near my house to visit her new guy whom she’s begun having sex with. Each time I see her passing to my neighbour’s my heart beats at once like a bullet was fired into it. I tremble and lose appetite immediately.

The issue now is, I wanted her to date out of my sight so I pleaded that she should use a different route to go to him but she wouldn’t listen.

I complained to her mother who didn’t take it easy with me saying I should be a man and leave her daughter alone. My wife’s lover even used her phone to chat with me saying I should leave them alone. How can I eat my cake and have it? I was so angry that I fired him back and divulged all her secrets including the abortions she had for me.

They quarrelled but are getting along again. Now, I’m still in pains considering my 1st wife is fit enough to support me and my 2nd wife is dating under my watchful eyes. What should I do?

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Written by Abena Magis

Comments

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  1. My brother, please be a gentleman. I know matters of the heart and would tell you this;

    Your ex is a potential helping hand because she’s educated, but she doesn’t love you, what guarantee do you have that she will help you with her money, aah.

    Now you have a wife, at least something you loved made you marry her irrespective of how quick it was.

    Help her, teach her to be business conscious with whatever she is willing to do. Resource her.

    She loves you, use that to have her be a potential and successful bread winner for you.

    Who said all good wives are educated, don’t be myopic, look at the bright side, it requires hard work by you to make her what you want.

    Let that ex be,

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