DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
I am a graduate of CoE. When I was in college I met this guy through a friend. I was then going through a serious heartbreak. This guy helped me by telling me to just forgive and forget because I’ll end up hurting myself. He told me he was in the same boat because his girlfriend cheated on him and got pregnant for another man so he’s single.
We became very close after that. I sometimes visited him in his house until we ended up having sex 😔. We weren’t dating but more like friends with benefits. Later, he told me he’d developed interest in me and wanted us to date.
Meanwhile, a friend of his had earlier told me he was dating another girl I knew personally. When I asked him, he said they were just friends. I didn’t want to believe him but a part of me decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Then one day he told me that girl was coming to his end for a visit. I got really confused about why she was visiting him. That was when he finally told me the truth they were dating. That day I cried like a new born baby because I trusted him fully.
Well the lady came for the visit. Then he called me to come around to see the lady. What for? I firmly refused to go. Because of that I went out from my room to see a friend and came back in the evening. He had called me several times but I never picked because I was broken.
The next day early in the morning I saw him escorting the girl out of his room. I told my roommate to tell him I’m not around in case he comes around. He came with the girl and my roommate did as I told her. After escorting her he came back to me and took me to his place.
When I went there, his clothes were scattered on his bed. As soon as I saw them, I started folding them for him. He told me I was different from that girl because even when she woke up, she didn’t dress the bed nor sweep there.
He apologized for what happened and assured me he did not sleep with her since she menstruated that very day. I did not want to believe him but he showed me a pad wrapper. That convinced me to believe him so I forgave him.
He could talk on phone with this girl for long hours without bothering that I was there too. This always made me feel sad but he didn’t stop. I was with him the day she finally told him she couldn’t continue with him again since she preferred same sex relationship. He begged me to forgive him which I never refused him since I loved him very much
One day, I was going through his phone when I found out he had numerous other girlfriends. I kept quiet about it. He even went to the extent of proposing to one of his patients. I found out but this one I confronted him on that. He denied it until I told him I had seen their messages. She came to his house and he also went to hers to spend nights with her.
Imagine this guy will come and tell me whatever transpired between them. Like how the girl did not give in to his desires. Yet in spite o all these things, I still forgave him for the cheating and disrespectfulness he showed towards me.
I had an FB account which I’d used a photo of a friend of mine as my dp. He sent a friend request to that account. Meanwhile he is not my FB friend personally. I accepted it any way and immediately he sent me a message. We chatted and after some time, he expressed interest and I accepted it.
He told me the same old story of how his girlfriend cheated on him and got pregnant for another man. Of course for me to pity him. I would meet him normally but never told him that I’m his new “girlfriend.” He sometimes called me his FB lover. Because of this “lover” he stopped calling me personally. He always found excuses for that. Lo and behold, he told me he can’t be in a relationship with me so it’s over. That he wanted to be free from every relationship and he wanted to stay single
Meanwhile he had fallen seriously in love with my other account. I decided to back off from him till I came to realize I was pregnant😥 He needed to know so I went to him and told him about it but he ignored me. In fact I was lost that day. I realized he never loved me for once so I took it upon myself to terminate it.
That was the biggest mistake in my life. I took some concoction and really bled. Then I had a call from him to come over which I did. He gave me a bottle to urinate in and to test me if I was really pregnant. I told him it’s too late because I had already terminated it.
With tears in his eyes he asked me why on earth I will kill his unborn baby. That made me really sad especially when he said his ignoring me wasn’t an excuse. I had no option since he didn’t love me. I can’t get him with a baby so that was the best for me. As I was talking to him I couldn’t move again and felt very dizzy. He said he will not allow me go home like that so he allowed me to sleep on his bed. He really took care of me that day.
That’s not all, he boldly told me about this new girlfriend he is having and how he loves her. It was like I was seeing a different person. I couldn’t believe it. He was so in love with an unknown woman who happened to me and it made me very sad
Some weeks passed by after the abortion. I went to his place again. We had sex again even though I knew he didn’t love me. He just went on and on about his FB lover as well as how she is like and so on.
One day I gathered courage and told him I’m the same girl. He was really shocked and had teary eyes. He just couldn’t believe his ears and believe it this guy had painted me very very black in front of the fb girl (which is me). He started begging me to forgive him of whatever he did to me so I forgave him again and was with him till date
Recently, I went to visit him. He was on his phone for over an hour talking with a lady again. He behaved as if I wasn’t there. One afternoon he had a call from a lady. I heard her asking him if I was around and he said yes. He told her he will meet her outside. I follwed him out without him seeing me and truly he went to see her. I said nothing about it.
When I came back to my place, this guy didn’t call me. When I call him, he will be very busy on phone and will never call back when he sees my missed calls. Till now this guy has been treating me oddly since he knows whatever he does I will still forgive him.
Now Auntie Abena my ex is back in my life. We never had sex but he always respected me and loves me in every way. He wants to marry me but we had issues which is why we broke up.
Please guys I need you to help me to choose right, because am really tired of this guy. Please help a sister who has suffered enough to make a good decision.