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He Wants Me to Move in with His Baby Mama

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I met one public officer during one of my business trips in a town where I buy raw materials, and he proposed. My first question to him was, “are you married?” He said he had twins with one lady. Though he’d wanted to marry her, her family objected to it so he went for the twin boys and brought them to stay in his house at Kumasi with his younger brother but the lady comes often to see the kids.

I refused his proposal because I suspected he had not broken up with her. He persisted and promised we can marry right away if I don’t believe him because he doesn’t want to lose me. I finally accepted him and we planned starting some business before marriage since his pay wasn’t much.

I invested eigh thousand cedis for him to pay off his loan to re- apply for a bigger amount for us to start our business which the loan will be given on 20th Jan 21.
The problem is he’s now been transferred from the town to Kumasi so he’s currently staying in his house.

I told him I wanted to see his house. He met me in town and took me to his place but to my amazement, the baby mama was there and they don’t have only the 10 years old twins but a two year old boy. He told me he has spoken to the lady and she has no problem with me coming into his life. He said he has decided to give me a room in his house for the meantime whilst planning to build another house for me.

I’m actually not comfortable continuing the relationship whilst another woman is living there. He said they are not married and he wants to marry me first since her family will not accept their marriage. I want to quit but I feel I’ll be the loser if I quit because my money is stuck and I know he’ll not pay if I leave.

I love him though but this is no fault of mine. He says I shouldn’t worry because he will never leave me. Should I quit or start the business with him and let him build the house for me as he’s promised because we’ve planned to complete the house by end of this year. Should I be with him or quit?

NB: I’ve met the woman only once, and he introduced me to her as a friend he was with at his former station so I’ve come to see where he stays. She seemed cool though.

Written by Abena Magis

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