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He Wants Me to Be His Second Wife

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Can you please post this for me? There’s this man who wants me to be his second wife. I completed SHS around 2016 and was preparing to rewrite some papers when I met this man who was 34 years then. He had a chemical shop (Drug store). We became friends and he proposed marriage to me but I told him I can’t because I wanted to further my education and besides I was 18 years then and didn’t know anything about marriage.

He was okay with my reasons so we started dating. He was very supportive, caring and even sent me to the hostel so that I could concentrate more on my books. He took full responsibility of my stay, in fact he made me feel like the luckiest girl. Fast forward, when I was done with my Nov/Dec, he asked me if I am ready to marry him now but I still told him I can’t. That if he can wait for me to complete or in my last year we can marry. This time, he wasn’t happy and was scared I might disappoint him. Moreso, he wanted to start a family as soon as possible because he was not growing any younger.

Not long after, he met a lady in her 30’s and decided to settle with her. They got married within a few months later. I also went to Midwifery school. Around 2019 he told me that he wanted to marry me as a second wife and set up my own maternity clinic for me which I told him I can’t.

Now I am done with my school and awaiting my national service. Note he didn’t sponsor my schooling. My problem is that this man is now very serious about the issue of marriage. He comes to my house everyday, buys me gifts and even took me out one time just to talk about this issue. I asked him why he still wants me as a second wife and he said he realized I am his soul mate because the time I was with him, his business was very successful. After he got married things became hard, his shop collapsed and he had to sell his land to start another job which wasn’t so good.

However, after getting close to me again within a short while, his business was picking up. He’d thought he could forget about me after marriage but he can’t so he is now convinced of his feelings towards me, if not he will leave to regret it.

I’m really confused because so far I haven’t seen any guy as loving as he is. I know he will treat me like a queen but I don’t want to be a second wife or hurt anyone so I told him to go talk to the wife about it to see if she will be ok with that. Hmmmm. I don’t even know wat to decide on. He is ready to support me with everything about my service because my brother can’t help me now. I want your fans to advise me please.

Auntie but I don’t know if I will meet someone like him. Also, even if I’ll turn him down, how will I explain things to him so he won’t be bored because he’s supporting me in hopes I’ll accept him.

Written by Abena Magis

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