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He’s Making Me Fight For Him

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I really appreciate all your good works. I need advise on something. I will be reading comments from mano fans. Thank you.

So I am 39 and he is 35. We started dating about a year and some few months ago. Before I met him, my mum had someone she wanted me to get married to so it was quite tough trying to convince her to make her know that I wasn’t interested in whatever plans she had made for me with regards to my marriage. I must confess, it was a tough one.

I had already lost two men due to this same reason the only thing is I didn’t fight for them. So when I found my current guy, I told him it was going to tough but I was ready to really fight for it this time around and asked him if he was ready to fight with me. His response was positive. Along the line, I nearly gave up and even told him he can move on if he finds someone else but he kept on assuring me and pushing me. He told me we could do this together.

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Even before we started putting up all this fight to get my mum into the picture, I messed up big time. I cheated on him. I came out boldly and told him I had messed up big time and, apologised. He was very hurt but forgave me. After that everything was running smoothly till somewhere September last year when things began to turn around.

Within that same period, I was able to convince my mum that she changed her mind and accepted him. But his behaviour changed all of a sudden. I got to know that there was another lady in the picture and kept on asking him what the problem was but he said it’s nothing. He finally told me it’s because of another lady. I did my best and we pushed that lady away.

I thought that once that had been done, things will become normal, but no. He was still cold towards me, zero commitment, no efforts etc. I am actually the one doing everything in the relationship and have even turned into the man in the relationship, always asking him what I can do to win his heart back. All he says is, let’s give ourselves a break. Then I got to know there’s another lady in the picture again. I still love him and don’t want to give up on him. He’s apologised and keeps on saying he will end whatever it is he has with that lady but it will take sometime. I don’t know if he actually means it or he’s just saying it. I don’t know if he still loves me or not.

Everything shows he has actually lost interest in me. It’s not a good place to be, but if he is willing to really work on what he has with the other lady, I can wait till he does that. It’s just that he’s making me fight for him. Please help me.

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Written by Abena Magis

Comments

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  1. Forget him and love on sister.
    He cant get over the fact that you cheated and so he is searching until he finally settles on your replacement.
    Forget him and start again.
    Its not too late

  2. Sometimes you dnt cheat on a man as a woman and tell him…you end up destroying him forever. Most men cnt handle the truth of their women cheating. Never tell the details to him. Its not encouragment for ladies to cheat though..

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