DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
I want to share my experience on relationship with your honourable fans. I dated a guy for four years. I did everything to make him happy but he never appreciated it. Our national service posting came and we were posted to different places.
One day he told me about how he ended up sleeping with someone. He was my first love and I loved him deeply. I was hurt but I forgave him and told him not to repeat it. He stopped calling for sometime and, I wondered why. Sometimes, when I call, he won’t pick.
One day, I called him, a lady picked and instructed me not to call her guy again. I asked of her name but she sucked her teeth and banged the phone on me. “Eii, so is that how this guy can be ungrateful?” I asked myself. Auntie Abena, this was the guy I helped right from day one when I met him on campus, from his feeding up to handouts.
He later called and I asked who that lady was. I also told him what the lady said and guess what he told me? “I go not see anything wrong with what she said.” Hmm, I was mezzo. Tears came from my eyes uninvited. “Erhhh saaa (is that so)?” ok. I replied sobering and hanged the call.
Later in the day, he told me not to visit him again. This was the guy I always visited every weekend with food stuffs bought with my own money oo Auntie. I asked him why but he said nothing. I stopped going there for sometime until one day I paid him a surprise visit. Hehe opana was with the lady who warned me to stay away from him. She left immediately she saw me.
I asked my ex who that lady was, and he told me empathically that she was his lady. I asked him, “saa? So after all that I have done for you. Is this how you’re paying me back?” Even after that confrontation he said he didn’t have money, so I gave him money.
I went home and told my siblings about the incident. They told me to jilt him but I told them no. They were furious but I told them to cool down. He started visiting every weekend. He told me he loves me and I also responded affirmatively. I made him love me the more. I did everything for him as if nothing had happened. I waited patiently for our national service to be over.
When I returned home, I called him and told him is over. Auntie, come and see oo. He cried saa but I never gave him a chance. My siblings were amazed. “Eii, so all this while you had this intention and you never told us?” they asked. I just laughed.
His parents and even good friends of ours pleaded on his behalf but I told them no. Auntie, to cut everything short, he is still not married.
One day I was there when he called and begged me that I should forgive him for everything. That a pastor told him he has offended me and looking at the way he is suffering, it might be a punishment from God. I told him I have forgiven him. Few months ago, I was there when his new lady called me. She thanked me for answering and said her fiance has always wanted her to be like me and that it is too frustrating. That I should tell her how how she can be like me.
I called my ex and asked him why he is comparing me to other ladies and he said, nobody has treated him so nicely like myself. I told him that he should love people the way they are. I have realized that it pays to be nice. I am now happily married to a wonderful man who appreciates my efforts.