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I’m 9 Years Older Than My Husband

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DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

You’ve spoken a lot in the past on your page but what you spoke about on maturity is the best and I salute you. I’ve been picking a lot of nuggets of wisdom but I need to share this for people to also learn and know that this platform is not just for jokes but it’s for learning as well.

I’m 9 years older than my husband. I know many women will say wow. Yes. I’m 9 years older than him and we went through pain to even get married. His older sister once sent her friends a message that she can’t allow her younger brother to marry me because she’ll have to call me sister and she didn’t like it.

The mother said because I was older, I will come and dictate what she should do in her own house. The father looked at what I had and the fact that I had 2 kids from my previous marriage and said I’ll become the lord and master of my home and make my husband my servant.

They didn’t know my story. Neither did they care to know how I became a single mother but just said whatever they liked. Yet, my husband told them it’s me he wanted. I didn’t give him a pesewa whiles we were dating but he could fuel my car for me or take it to the washing bay.

He could come and pick the girls and take them to the mall, all bills on him. If I fall sick, he’ll come and spend time with me, taking care of me. He was matured, more matured than men 20 years older than him. He gave me insights into things that I never even thought of.

We could talk business, politics, sports and never talk down each other. He was real and opened up to me. I had hang ups from my previous marriage but his attitude helped me overcome them. We got married and his family stayed away waiting for him to go running home. He used to communicate with them often but they were always expecting bad news.

So fast forward, he stopped contacting them often. They’ll come and visit and raise their eyebrows at how we behaved around each other. His mother even once told him, he loves me too much. He should either hide it from me or reduce it. After hearing that, he doesn’t entertain such talk from her again.

Auntie Abena, 12th June 2020 was our 5th year anniversary and I say to the glory of God that my marriage has been a blessing in my life. I shared a testimony online and cried because I can’t imagine a life without him. If I’d listened to everyone and if he’d listened to his family, we wouldn’t be with each other.

My fellow ladies, maturity is not age, qualifications, degree or how rich you are, how many links you have, who your parent is oo. Maturity is how the person processes the world around them and applies that knowledge. Maturity is knowledge, willingness to learn and apply what you’ve learned.

If he’s younger but matured, marry him instead of going in for someone older but behaves childishly. When he’s younger, remember to love, respect and support him because when he grows to become your age, you’ll still be older and society will still judge you. Thanks

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Written by Abena Magis

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