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I’m Fed Up with Telling Him What to do

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

May God bless you for the wonderful things you’re doing. I would be grateful if you could post this story for me. Thanks

I’m going out with this guy and planning to get married soon. He works in a public institution with a very lucrative salary with other benefits. He’s handsome, intelligent (book knowledge).

The problem is I’m finding it difficult in coping with his habits. He is not responsible, dirty, doesn’t know how to keep himself well, lacks basic ethics such as prioritizing his needs to make things comfortable for himself.

His monthly salary is almost GHS4,000 but he took almost 6 different kind of loan facilities from different outfits and was taking very little at the end of the month. I managed to assist him pay off most them and he’s now left with 3 more to go. Hopefully within the first quarter of next year God-willing he will be done with two with only one loan facility left for him to complete payment.

Note: I didn’t give him money to pay off his loans. I made him park his car to use public transport and I also cook for him to manage and to cut down cost.

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My issue is that I’m getting fed up with always telling a grown man how to leave his life and manage himself well. By now he should be able to stand for himself without me interfering all the time. The most annoying part is that he doesn’t accept his mistakes. I have to force him to admit his faults. He lies sometimes and he’s not strategic too

I dated him for six years and broke up with him because it was always about his friends. He was very arrogant and wasn’t paying attention to me. Some time after I left, all his friends got married and started having kids. That’s when he realized his mistakes of not paying attention to me and listening to my advice.

After our break up, I met a friend of his who informed me that the breakup had left the guy frustrated and things were not moving on well for him. So we got into contact again and I realized that things were not moving on well for him. He apologized and compensated me for how he treated me.

Fast forward we got back together and I realized he was humble and willing to change. It’s been a year now since we got back together but he keeps repeating similar mistakes all the time. I’m tired of telling him what to do always. I feel he may not be a responsible father to my kids .

Please kindly share to members to share their views on this issue because I want to leave the relationship.

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Written by Abena Magis

One Comment

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  1. Hmmm..the thing is everyone has a different background and upbringing so it’s not entirely his fault…maybe just maybe you are the one to assist him …if he treats you well then fine you can just stay by his side and help him out but if he doesn’t treat you well on top of his carelessness then you can leave ..the thing is you can’t have everything 100% the next man you will meet too will have a but…if he treats you well then manage him and pray for him .. advice him as well
    If he is still not learning from his mistakes and isn’t admitting his faults you can then leave

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