DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
My boyfriend doesn’t trust me anymore just because of something we both did. Auntie Abena I love him so much and I swear I have eyes for no one else. Our sex life has been great, I mean, he has been very very generous sexually. We’ve been doing all the things we thought we couldn’t do, I mean we are so comfortable with each other we even walk around naked at home most weekends.
We have been adventurous with sex, with lots of things including role playing but that is where the problem lies. One time he played the role of a soldier and we had this amazing sex. After that I have never been turned on by anything else aside that role. I mean, no matter what he does, I never get wet except he plays the role of the soldier.
The initial reason to explore was so as not to make our sex life monotonous has rather turned. Now I can’t really enjoy anything sexually unless he is playing that soldier role and dominating me. This makes sex really painful for me nowadays if he refuses to play that role.
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A few months back, I confessed to him on why I’m always dry when he decided we should go to the hospital to remedy my condition and he has been trying to play the role since. Now I know our sex life is boring…..well not for me but for him.
Fast forward to two months ago, I met this soldier guy on Facebook and we began chatting. We met last month and have been good friends since then. When I left to meet him, I told my boyfriend I was meeting a Facebook friend but left out that he was a soldier because I didn’t think anything of it. Now my boyfriend found out that the friend was in fact a soldier and is feeling so uneasy.
Honestly Auntie Abena, I promise I don’t like this soldier guy in any sexual way but I like what I’m learning from him about soldiers. (I wanted to be a soldier but medicals failed me). This guy has introduced me to other soldiers I’ve grown to like as friends. Now my boyfriend is so insecure, we were buying stuff for our marriage but he has postponed shopping for the marriage stuff twice by giving excuses that don’t hold water.
Now I’m scared I’m losing him. He isn’t even touching me anymore and claims it’s because I no longer wet which makes sex less enjoyable for him and that he isn’t ready to be role playing every day in order to get me wet. How do I make him realise I love him and only him? And that I’m only living my soldier dreams in Jason and his friends’ eyes because I’m not ready to severe contacts with these new friends I’ve found.
I’m scared I’m losing my husband to-be and a good man. What do I do please?