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I’m Not a Homewrecker

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I’m being accused unfairly of being a homewrecker which I know I’m not. Please share this and let your fans advice me. If I’m wrong, they should let me know. If I’m right then I’ll know what to do.

I was raised by the Nortey family when I was 11 years old and we moved to Accra some years ago. My mother was a drunkard who didn’t even know who my father was. My grandmother who raised me told me she must have been drunk when she slept with whoever made her pregnant. I used to really hate her for that but over the years I’ve learned to let it go.

The Borteys needed a maid and though I was too young for them, my grandmother convinced them to take me and pay us by taking care of my schooling. She always said, she’s too poor but at least serving them meant I will get a good education. Their only son became like my brother. He was my best friend and the only one I trusted and who also trusted me. The whole family trusted me though. Even though I was like a maid, they took care of me. When they traveled, they always left their room keys with me and I was the only one allowed into their master bedroom.

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Fast forward to 3 years ago, I finished training college. I was waiting for posting to start work. I wanted to leave the house too because I was no longer doing maid work. My brother got angry with me which I didn’t understand. He was always throwing me off. I confronted him and told me he won’t let me go which I didn’t understand. Then he said me he loves me. Auntie Abena, I will confess I used to have a crush on him but I always reminded myself where I’m from. I knew his parents won’t allow this and always kept my distance. If you see me with him, nothing will make you think I’m in love with him.

I told him I can’t love him and he stopped talking to me. Luckily, I got posted and this guy started coming to visit me. He’ll come Friday very late and tell me he can’t sleep in a hotel. We never did anything though. I was scared of his parents getting to know and begged him to stop visiting me. One day, he started touching me and I gave in though he forced me at the beginning.

The following day which was Sunday, I told him I don’t want to see him again before he gets me into trouble. His family has done so much for me and that’s not how to pay them back. He cried. I also cried but I told him to go. I refused to pick his calls and stopped visiting his family. His mother called one of my aunties to complain but I gave an excuse and refused to go. He will come to visit but I won’t open the door. He finally stopped visiting or calling.

Fast forward, this year February his mother invited me for a family meeting. I went and she said her son met someone he wants to marry. They went to do the Knocking but after that he’s been refusing to set the date and keeps postponing. When they questioned him before he told them he’s in love with me and wants to marry me.

I told them I don’t know anything about it because he has never discussed marriage with me. His mother asked me if we have ever been anything more than just brother and sister. I didn’t want to lie and he wasn’t saying anything too. She got angry and called me a liar and disgrace. That she trusted me with everything and this is how I’m repaying her.

I told her the truth that since then I have had nothing to do with him and he knows it. He stopped calling because I wasn’t picking and even blocked him. Auntie Abena, since then his family hate me and he’s causing more damage. He broke up with his fiancee. She, who doesn’t know me called me insulting me that I’ve broken her home. I’m a homewrecker. His mother also said the same thing. My auntie and one of my mother’s friends are so angry with me.

Auntie Abena, this guy is still calling me now that he’s left the girl because he knows he can never be happy with her. He’s begging me to give him a chance because he wants to marry me. I wish I could follow my heart. He’s the only man who has seen my nakedness and I do love him but how can I accept him like this? I feel like I’m the cause of all these because there is division in his family all because of me. How do I solve this please? Please post because I need advice. A friend recommended your platform for me that I can get answers here.

Note this please, he comes here every evening. If I don’t open the door he will sleep outside. Just recently he got a cold because I refused to open and the rain beat him until I let him in. His family don’t know he comes here but I don’t know what to do anymore. I know he loves me soo much that it’s affecting his work too

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Written by Abena Magis

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