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I’m Torn Between My Bf and His Friend

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

God bless you for your good works but please help me out. I’m in a dicey situation now.

I’ve known this guy since childhood. I remember when we were kids, his mum used to say we were gonna marry each other when we grow up. Even when I completed tertiary and started working, his mum used to worry us asking when we are gonna get married

She would say “Nana, if you don’t marry my son, what I will do to you!”

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We also grew up liking each other although our relationship wasn’t that stable. We could break up, go our separate ways but then end up together. It’s been like that for the past few years till I traveled outside the country and we kinda lost contact.

Fast forward, last two years we got into contact again on Facebook and started vibing. Just last Christmas he paid me a visit and it was like we were never apart. Actually I feel what’s between us is so natural and sparks up with the least effort. We promised each other we ain’t gonna let each other go again and even made plans to settle down later this year but things changed when he got back to GH.

He barely picked my calls nor replied my messages. I knew how busy his work schedule was so I just found an excuse for him and was never bothered but it got worse. He could be online but still ignored my messages. I gathered courage and asked him to man up and tell me where we were headed. It was then that he said during the period, we lost contact he got entangled with a lady and that he is confused as what to do.

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I then asked that we break up despite the love we shared but he is adamant. He claims he feels so comfortable and secured around me. That what we share is so natural that he can’t let go. Yet, he finds it difficult hurting the other lady because she’s innocent.

Just last week, I told him I can’t keep hanging in there, praying he comes back to me when I know there is another lady warming his bed so I’m moving on. He hanged up and the next call I had was from my mum. She said he guy called her to ask when he should come with his family to do Knocking rites.

Auntie Abena, I am confused because I don’t feel right about the whole thing despite the love we have. On the other hand, his close friend has expressed interest in me. He doesn’t know his friend and I are back together. He is really serious about marrying me. He would be moving to the country where I am now in December. He also wants to go and see my parents and perform the customary rites before he comes here.

We all grew up together and we have been good friends. Just that he is in the dark about my current situation with his friend. I happened to ask him if his friend (the first guy) is aware but he said it ain’t gonna be an issue since he the first guy is also planning his marriage with the other lady.

I would love to be with this friend but confused on what to do. Please I need your advice.

Written by Abena Magis

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  1. Let go off him and go for his friend. If he ignored your calls and all that then he love’s the other lady too and chose her over you in a way since she was closer. How would you feel if you were in the other ladies shoes. She is innocent like he said and that could cause harm. On the other hand you have a great guy( his friend) willing to marry you and move to where you are. Don’t let in the name of natural connection make you miss your opportunity of happiness. Love is all about team work, understand, trust and communication. If you can find all that in the other guy please go for it.

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