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Is Full Disclosure Necessary?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Please let Mano fans help me with my problem. I am 28 years and I recently met a guy on Facebook who’s 36 years and seemed a bit mature. We started talking and getting along till he invited me to his place. I wasn’t pleased with what I saw because I realized at his age he lacked some basic things a young man should have in his room.

He’s working oo but no sofa, mattress was on the floor and sharing the kitchen and washroom with others which I didn’t like. He told me of his intentions to move out but being unable to do so due to financial constraints. I have a well paid job so I decided to help him by taking a loan for him to get a place I’ll be paying for within a year.

I’m from a family of 9 and the 2nd born, I’m also the only one working. Because of the family pressure me, I couldn’t get the money for him as promised. My younger brother gained admission to the College of Education in December and I had to pay his fees and buy things home for Xmas too so I was a bit broke. I told my man about it and he wasn’t happy.

Since last month, he’s started giving me attitude because he thinks I have more than enough and doesn’t want to help him since I opened up to him about my finances and my salary is just a little higher than his but I don’t know what he uses his money for because he’s always broke. He’s the only child of his parents and doesn’t take care of anyone but still can’t even afford a single sofa in his room. So I want to know if it’s cool to let your partner know how much you earn especially when you’re dating or you have to hide it till you’re married or you don’t even disclose it at all. Please let me know when you post so I read comments. Thank you.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

Comments

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  1. He’s definitely not your type of man. You should run away as fast as you can.

    Disclosing your salary to your married is important but not when you are dating. Clearly this guy is inconsiderate and therefore shouldn’t be entertained.

    All the best dear!

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