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Is It Wrong to Help a Married Woman?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Good evening from Kasoa and to all my Kasland peeps, I greet you all for making the Manokekame page a beautiful one for Ghanaians to meet on. I’m a guy of 28 years and a fashion designer who also owns my own boutique. I worked hard to get to where I am because my back isn’t good (family isn’t well to do). It’s from my apprenticeship that I saved to set myself up in business so I have this compassion to help anyone I meet.

To my main story, there’s a married woman in my church, I’m a new member there, after joining on the 31st of December last year. She always wears the same faded kaba and sometimes top and black skirt. I overheard some of the women gossiping about her that in less than a year of marriage, she looks tattered and her husband has also stopped attending church. I felt bad and decided to help in my own small way.

I used that week to sew new clothes for her and told one of the women’s leaders to give her without letting her know it’s from me. Last 2 weeks, I realized she was still wearing the old clothes. The church woman I gave the clothes too didn’t come to church so I went to her to introduce myself, and asked her if she received the clothes but she said she didn’t know anything about it.

I was in church on Sunday when some women came to call me for an urgent meeting. After service, I met the women with the woman I gave the clothes to, her husband, the women’s leader I gave the clothes to and a junior pastor. They said there had been some rumours that the woman was my lover which is why I was sewing clothes for her and because I didn’t want anyone to suspect was using the women’s elder as my betweener. Hmm. I explained but they all said it doesn’t make sense. The husband kept on insisting that I’m his wife’s lover. The women’s leader didn’t say a word.

I asked the woman’s husband if he was already suspecting the wife of cheating on him. I also asked him where he saw me with her.

He couldn’t answer so finally they all said I should take my clothes from the women’s leader. I didn’t because I sewed it with papa yɛ (good will) in mind. Since then, I’ve decided not to go to that church again because I’m worried about the gossip on an innocent woman I just wanted to help. Was I wrong to help a married woman? I don’t even know her full name.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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