DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
I’d like you to help me get answers from your followers. I’ve been married for 4 years now but I’ve lost my husband to a side chick.
I already doubted him because he hardly picked his calls around me and would always put his phone on silence. I caught him once when he told me to watch a video on his phone. A message from a lady popped up which said, “hi bae, I love you so much.” Though he apologized and I forgave him, this made me very curious about what he was up to. Since then I lost trust though I had already forgiven him.
4 days ago, I got hold of his phone again when he left it unlocked. My plan was to go through the chats to really see if I could trust him again. Going through it, I saw one he had with a lady and I realized he’s cheating on me. This lady was describing how he banged her but doesn’t have time for her anymore. She was complaining that he wasn’t taking her seriously and maybe thought she’s a prostitute.
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When he realized I was keeping long in the room, he rushed inside and took the phone away from me. I confronted him and demanded to know why he’s cheating on me. At first he denied everything but later sent me a message of apology and said a lot before apologizing in his message. Some of the words he said was,
“You should have minded your business by not picking my phone to read the messages in the first place. So now are you the one who hurt yourself or I did? The only thing I can say is that I’m sorry. I want you to know that if I bang anyone out there, it doesn’t mean I love the girl oh. It’s just for pleasure. I’m not in any relationship with anyone because I’ll prefer sleeping with a prostitute then no one will call or text to disturb me. You naa you don’t like talking nasty or dirty with me so sometimes I prefer doing that with these ladies to release stress. All that I can say is, I’m sorry and I love my family.”
That is what he sent to me. I was so hurt and couldn’t control my tears. From what he sent to me, it made me realize he’s not ready to give up on his cheating act so I decided to see it for myself.
In the evening, I confronted him gently. I told him that unlike before, he should call the lady he’s been doing all those dirty acts with in front of me. He should let her know that everything he started with her was a mistake and he wants to end the relationship.
My husband told me boldly that he can’t and won’t call the lady today or tomorrow. That if he says he’s dating this lady what can I do? If he says he’s not dating her to, what can I do about it? Then he said, I should just forget whatever I saw in the chats with the lady and move on with my marriage. After that, he boldly warned me that I should make sure I never touch his phone again if I want the marriage to be peaceful.
I also got angry and told him for the fact that I am still married to him, I’ll pick his phone anytime it pleases me. He told me that anytime I try doing that, I should start packing immediately. I have 2 kids with him already and currently 4 months pregnant. I’m in so much pain and hurt. I feel dishonored and heartbroken
For 3 days now, he’s refused to talk to me. I don’t know whom to confront this issue to, my mom will tell me to ignore his actions and pray for him to change. He’ll also not listen to any advice from anyone. I need your help. Please guys what I should do now?
Auntie Abena please help me because I don’t know whom to turn to to save me from this pain. I’m not a house wife though and don’t solely depend on him. But my question is, should I believe that men are to cheat and it’s normal nowadays? Should a wife accept it and believe that all men cheats or what because I feel like I’ve lost my husband to a side chick. Thank you.