DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
Happy new year family. My husband is on your platform. I see him comment on issues and I pray this gets to him. I once brought my story for posting where about 800 comments said “‘leave your marriage for your life.” Yet I told myself, “Lord, this is what your people are saying but I am trusting in you because you said a way may seem right to a man but his end is death.”
I know my husband read my story because I saw a significant change. He knew I did nothing wrong to deserve how he was treating me. I believe in prayer and from 1am -4am I always prayed to God. My home became beautiful as it was and I felt it was like dream. I know the devil is against marriages but sometimes we also give him a chance.
Unfortunately for me, my husband is back to his old attitude again and the painful part is I’m 11 weeks pregnant. We have two kids already, 5 years in marriage, well to do and living in our own residence.
My questions to my husband who I know will definitely will read this message is;
- 1. When will he give me peace?
- 2. When will he be honest in all his doings?
- 3. What is my worth as his wife?
- 4. And when will he stop verbally abusing me in my current condition?
- 5. What does he gain when he inflicts pain on others?
Why do I say so? This is because when you put in all your best to make your family stand the test of time but your partner does not make an effort to make it work then where lies our future? I wish I could mention his name to the entire platform to ask him what does he want me to do now in my condition?
I told him I wanted to check how far gone I was gone with my pregnancy but he freaked out, and insulted me so loudly that neighbors asked me if he was talking on phone. You’ll never hear my voice and I am soo surprised that this is a man who for the past 5 years cannot last more than 2 mins in bed.
Hmm heaven is my witness, just because he makes babies, our society will assume he is a man, yet I could count the number of times I have had orgasm since we got married but none have I used against him because we are in this together. Honestly, I feel it’s just too much.
If he is insecured and thinks the best way to deal with it is to be ranting his mouth to save his shame then it will not work for him. He even takes drugs and that is when he is able to perform up to that 2 mins, and yet I can’t be pampered for the sacrifice I am making. His choice of friendship is soo bad and can you imagine that even when we are going to visit my family or friends he could pickup just any of his friends to sit in our car without my permission to places they are not worthy to enter?
If these were friends we can salute, I would have no problem, but useless barbers who are working for somebody. When I tell my husband if they go with him, then I’m no longer going, he’ll freak out and cancel any important program we have if he has to go without them.
My own home is now a trading center for his boys and the number of clients that enters my hall during a week to pay deposit by using me as a Lawyer and a wife to his brother, meanwhile this friend is not part of our family. This is where when I speak, my husband will tell me I have disrespected and embarrassed him. Just which home will entertain that?
Hmmmm I might be a fool for only in season but it won’t remain forever. He’s rented two houses I built to about 6 people, and he won’t see a reason to apologise for his behavior. I married a liar from day one. I was just 22 when we got married. He told me he was 32 meanwhile he was 40 years then, and it’s even on our marriage certificate
Though number is no barrier but if I had known it would have changed something. All I want him to know is that whatsoever a man soweth so shall he reap, I will sow into his life the best I can, but once my visa is ready to fly out which is almost ready there will be nothing that will bring me back to him because I have no good memories of him to hold on to.
Just yesterday, he pushed my head like a toddler, raining insults on me in my pregnant state and all I sing within is, “God will make a way.”
The day I will mention his name to everyone will mean I am outside the country with my kids for good to join my family abroad. A word to a wise, Kofi is enough.