Dear Auntie Abena,
Please I need advice because I don’t know whether I’m overreacting or not. I’m so hurt because my bestie (a guy) has betrayed me.
We have been friends for almost 20 years now and he has ruined our friendship. He knew I loved him and used it to his advantage. The fact is, 8 years yrs ago we tried dating but it ended because of lack of communication on his side.
We still remained very close friends though. When he told me he’d started dating, I knew my boundaries and respected the fact that he was in a relationship. I kept my feelings for him in check…
Auntie Abena just this year, somewhere in August, he started flirting with me on WhatsApp and during calls. Frankly, I didn’t take him seriously because I knew he was serious in love with his girlfriend.
Then one day, he told me he is breaking up with her. I was shocked and asked why and he said the girl’s dad was being tribalistic and refusing to approve their relationship.
He told me how regretted how things ended between us so wanted to be with me. Auntie Abena, he knows I really loved him and so used it against within those few weeks.
My emotions came rushing out because I could see he was in pain. All I wanted was to be with him and be his comforter. To show him what love really means. He came to visit me and we had a nice time together
Then, after having his way with me he started forming busy. He wouldn’t pick my calls nor return it. Even if he picked he will tell me he’s busy, will call me back and that’s it.
He later texted me that he met his girlfriend’s father and the man had finally approved their union. That was how he started ghosting me. I tried reaching out to him to at least tell me it wasn’t intentional and that he never meant to take advantage of my love but he refused to call or text me back. He sees nothing wrong with what he did
This issue happened between August and October, and this November he sent me his wedding invite. I am so pained and can’t just fathom the fact that someone I have known for all these years will hurt me like this.
I am not pained because he didn’t choose me, but for the fact that he took advantage of my love and toyed with my emotions. I trusted him and believed he wouldn’t hurt me. I have cried and want to forget about it but it’s so hard.
I don’t keep malice. The mere reason I was trying to reach out to him was for some explanation or closure so my mind can be at peace. How do I move on from here?