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My Boyfriend Has Gotten Another Woman Pregnant

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I have been dating a guy for eleven years now with whom I have a child. When I was pregnant, there was a fire outbreak and I lost everything. Life became unbearable so I was staying with a friend till I delivered. After, I went to live with his mum in the village.

Six months later, I came back because he’d rented a place for me. He always came home twice in two weeks because he told me he needed money so he was sleeping at a friend’s place to save the transportation. After five years, we still didn’t have the money so I moved to our family house. Meanwhile someone told me he and his friends had rented a room and he was staying there. It’s been 3 years since I came back and he still hasn’t rented a place. I cook and wash his things anytime it’s dirty. I sometimes visit him there.

When I go and meet a girl there, he tells me he’s not the only one staying there so I shouldn’t worry. During the Xmas, he traveled without telling me for 4 days. When he came back I was annoyed so I when he called me I didn’t mind him. A week later, my son went there and told me he met a lady who called his dad on the phone. I called him to ask who the lady was and he said the lady came to inform him she is pregnant for him. He said it’s barely one month but he wanted to inform me so that when I come and meet her I would not fight with her.

He boldly told me he wanted to check if I’m the one who can’t give birth or it’s his fault because our son is seven years and I haven’t given birth again. When I ask him when he would marry me then he says after giving birth to two or three because the doctor said I might not give birth again. Last week he came to ask if I can continue the relationship or not because if I can’t, then he will go and rent a room and live with the lady but if I will continue with him, he will either ask the lady to abort it or give birth and take the child from her.

He is now telling everyone that I pushed him into it because I refused to visit him regularly and I am not serious about giving birth and all I want is getting married. Hmmmm. Please I need advice. He says if I leave too I wouldn’t get any man to marry me so I should accept and be with him. I even helped him to get a job during the Xmas. 😭😭😭

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He says a guy who loves the wife would not hide anything from her and that’s why he is telling me. He’s my first guy. I am the one taking care of the child. I’m working at restaurant as a cook.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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  1. Your guy told you point blank that you won’t get anyone to marry if you don’t marry him? Why? Is it that you have given birth to one? I know a mate in school who was wedded after giving birth with a different person and abandoning her. Some even give birth to two but they still marry, that’s destiny for you. If the reason of accepting him back is based on your inability to marry again, then reconsider. However, if you love him and you are prepared to stay with him despite the odds, you can go ahead and marry him. All the best

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