DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
I’m aware my “angel” of a husband who appears so pious, God fearing, humble and respectful is cheating on me. He’s sleeping with one of the women in the church but they’re always behaving as if they’re praying or he’s counseling her. She calls me, “mama” or “big sis in the Lord” with a very bright smile but when I turn my back, she rushes into my husband’s arms.
The funny thing is everyone who knows about them think I don’t know. The gossiping they gossip that I’m such a fine woman and they don’t know why he’ll cheat on me with such a girl. I’ve heard them all because the very people gossiping are the ones who come to me with evidence. I just listen but don’t say a word.
At home, I’ve told him no more babies so condoms or no sex. He thinks I’m being wicked to him and tells his girlfriends everyday but I’m protecting myself. 2 kids with him is ok. What he doesn’t know is why every property is in either my name or plus our kids.
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I’m also building a 7 bedroom house which is almost near completion. I’ve 3 buses working for me which he doesn’t know. After the first 3 years of marriage, I realized my family was proud to have him as a son in law and all my complaints weren’t heeded to. Maybe I could have coped with an occasional girl but the constant cheating made me take this decision.
After 15 years of marriage, we’re still renting because instead of using his vast income to build, he rents and buys cars for his numerous girlfriends over the years. They drive it to church feeling proud but not caring that I don’t have a car. After getting the car, they soon leave the church and him so he’ll go for the next girl.
Should anyone gift me a car, he’ll take it that he has to drive it and before I know, the old one will be sold. I won’t see that money too. I’m just waiting for my second girl to reach SHS. By that time, I would have finished building and will ask for a divorce. The interesting thing is that society will call me wicked. He plays his games quietly so even in our neighborhood, his family, various groups and tennis club, work place etc nobody knows what he’s up to. It’s only in church he does what he does because that’s where he has control. If I leave him, people will call me wicked for leaving but I don’t care.
I deserve some peace of mind which he won’t give me. If he knew what I’m doing, I know he’ll come begging with tears like he always does and tell me not to let anyone care. That’s what he cares about. What others will say. It’ll be too late in some years time. I don’t want advice. It’s a decision I’ve made but wanted to share. Maybe I’ll get some women who understand what I’m going through. Maybe.