DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
Good evening Aunty, thank you for your advice on the issue I talked to you about. Please I have another problem again this is with respect to my dad. I think he is under a spell.
The problem is that, we are all girls, because of that my uncles have been pushing their male children to my dad. Most of them came to school at our place, so when they made it they left to look for their own accommodation in fact almost all of them are married and doing well.
But this particular cousin has been with us for so long, I grew up meeting him at our house. He is a hypocrite, liar and a thief. When we moved to our new house, everything changed my dad no longer listen to anyone unless him. Can you even imagine he eats breakfast to supper in our house although he was living in a different house whilst working?
The most painful thing is that he never contributes a penny. During fasting time he will walk from his place at 3 am to our house just to eat and I keep on wandering what he uses his money for??? He doesn’t respect my mom talkless of us.
Aunty can you imagine when his dad comes from the village to the house he calls us “Herr” he is my dad’s senior brother but we give him that respect. He asked my dad one day why he is wasting his money on us to go to school??😩
Fast forward that cousin of mine got married and the wife gave birth and they had to perform the outdooring, I was in school when my mom called crying, I asked her why and she said my cousin insulted her because she asked him about food stuffs meant for the nursing mother and he said he gave money to his mom who is in the village oo to buy and my mom said ah! And asked why he did that and he said because my mom didn’t give birth to him that’s why she didn’t ask him, my mom also responded that she didn’t impregnate his wife so how would she know when she is about to give birth then he started insulting her so my dad intervened.
Aunty he and his wife used to eat in our house even after marriage when we complain my dad would ask us how much is his pay??? And I was like if he doesn’t have pay will he pick a wife?? Aunty there are a whole lot, that I can’t even type. My dad now make us feel worthless by comments he makes about us. Telling us my cousin is useful to him than us blah blah.
My dad quarrels with my mom because of him, if he does something and my mom complains he tells her he doesn’t like that. My dad has totally changed and I believe he is under a spell. When they come to him for money he will give it out willingly but when we ask him he will tell us he has a lot of expenses. I am the last of the 4 girls. I have lost opportunities because of him because it required money he will tell me to forget about it . I remember I was giving an appointment and I had to pay for my tags and other stuffs, he told me to forget about it. I was about leaving when a cousin of mine came asking for money and he didn’t object and gave him the money i looked at him and tears rolled down my eyes I shook my head and left I cried the whole night I told my mom and she got angry she gave me the money and I paid. Two days later he asked me about it and I told him I wasn’t interested again he asked me why and I said nothing 😊.
Now another cousin of mine has come to stay with us, he takes care of my dad’s farm so he used to come during the farming season, now he has stayed permanently and he has joined forces with my other cousin to make our lives miserable and they have started owning things hmmm.
My mom told us she can’t fight our battles for us so we have to fight for ourselves because my dad doesn’t listen to her and he defends them whenever she complains but she can’t do it all alone so we should learn to defend ourselves.
My dad has 3 cars and my cousin takes the car any time he wants to the extent of telling people he is the first born and my mom came to sack his mom. My dad cannot reprimand them, when they are not around he will be talking blah blah but when they come he won’t be able to confront them.
One early morning after praying, he came out shouting, he called all of them and he said the were liars and thieves we were all surprised he has never done that before. So I was like the juju has expired 😂😂. He even told a friend that he is sticking around because we are all girls and we would marry and leave the house so virtually there won’t be anyone around to use the properties such as the cars. He has a bad intention towards us. I am sure if he gets the chance to get rid of us he would. I am really scared. I have had countless dreams of him trying to kill my dad same as my sister but I just take it as if I am just hallucinating. I say this because anyone who gets closer to my dad he will end up turning my dad against the person. He wants to be the only one closer to my dad.
Aunty can You imagine we do not know the location of the farm lands and cattles except him ? He doesn’t involve us in anything. He is his everything. The most funny thing is that he spoils my dad’s name outside and people tell us the things he say. My mom too don’t give them chance she will scold them. I am really worried about my dad. I usually ask myself what is my crime being a girl. I am the most quite and patient one amongst them but they have made me change I used to let things slide. I never questioned my dad about his actions but now I do. I kept my dad’s car keys and I told him that he will only use the car whenever my dad approves and my dad didn’t utter a word. I won’t allow them to mock my mom and my siblings🤷🏽♀️. I have become the toughest girl I could ever be thanks to them. Now whenever they see me, the way they look at me is like they should punch me in the face😊.
There are a lot of things going on I cannot say everything here. what we are going through is really disturbing especially me because my sisters work in different regions and I am the only one at home. We are treated as strangers in our own house. My mom is doing all she can to protect us, be it defending us in-front of them and in prayers. Please help me sometimes I usually feel worthless. I don’t want anyone to blame my dad because I think he is not in his right sense. I love him so much and I would do anything for him😩. I just want him back. This is not the loving dad I used to know. Can anyone help me with this issue???😩