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My Fiance Says No Court Wedding

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I have a problem but it’s very lengthy because I need advice on what to do. My man and I have have been dating for 3 years now and we plan getting married in December. He’s living in Ghana but I’m outside and I’ve planned to get him a job here for him to relocate.

When we started discussing our marriage plans, my first plan which I told him was for us to have only traditional marriage since he is a Muslim and I am a Christian. Later, I thought it wise for us to have a court marriage to get a marriage certificate so that it can be easy for us both to travel and stay together.

I talked to him about it and he told me he has to consult his elders first to know the importance and disadvantages of it. He first spoke with his pastor friend who was once a Muslim but now a Christian, which he gave my guy every details he needed to know which he accepted to do it.

3 days ago, I brought up the topic again and he said my family only spoke about traditional and not court marriage so that’s the only thing he wants to do so I shouldn’t force him to do otherwise. He later made a comment that it’s either only traditional marriage so we live peacefully and happily or if I insist on court marriage then we should break up because none of his Muslim family has ever had a court wedding.

I later asked what his reason for refusing was because I thought I’d given him a good reason on why I wanted the court wedding. My question to him was that does he think I might divorce him in future to get half of his property or maybe he might want marry another in future and thinks it can stand in his way?

His reply was that none of those had crossed his mind and that he sincerely loves me and no one can come in between us but he doesn’t want court marriage.

Please let your ladies and gentlemen advice me. Should follow what he said and go ahead with the marriage or do you think he has a negative motive about it which is why he doesn’t want to do it?

Thank you.

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Written by Abena Magis

Comments

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  1. It is very likely you will have issues in this marriage considering the stance your boyfriend has taken and the fact that you have varied religious ideologies. Will you be prepared to convert to Islamic when the need be? Have you thought of this? If the answer is No, then you need to start having a second thought before you stick your neck in it. All the best.

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