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My Girlfriend Doesn’t Fit My Ideal Girl

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I’m currently in a relationship of which I’m very happy and proud of but at the same time too, I’m very uncertain about the future of this relationship. I am a guy whose dream is to get married to a woman who best suits my dreams and aspirations as a man. A reason of which I ended my first relationship.

I have been dating my girlfriend for the past two years with no quarrel or problems. We’ve never argued or disliked each other of any action. At the genesis of everything, I saw her to be an ideal woman- a woman I wanted to build my future with or should I say a 21st Century woman. The first year of our relationship was quite distanced based but we managed to see each other as often as we could.

Now, she is closer than before. I see and visit her often and vice visa. The events of our closeness brought me to the realization that she doesn’t fit into my ideal woman and wife. What do I mean by that? I want a woman who can support me both indirectly and directly with regards to my ideas and business aspirations. She should have deep understanding to who I want to be or become.

I took her out once to purposefully interrogate her on what kind of a future she wants to have and I didn’t appreciate her answer. She said she wants to be a normal person. Just that? I don’t have a problem with her being herself but I think if she doesn’t fit into my dreams, I might be stressed.

To the best of my understanding, she will not be able to support me perfectly. Maybe, I am being selfish but let’s take a look at my girlfriend in person. She has not planned her life. She has never supported me whenever I discuss business and academic ideas with her. It’s like she doesn’t understand me or sees me as some kind of born-to-be visionary kind of guy.

She always undermines potential opportunities and undermines herself. She always allows her friends to bully her- which sometimes I have to come to her defense. I really want a woman who can stand up for herself, a woman with a voice. When I asked her if she will ever continue her education to the tertiary level, she responded with a big no, “sorry, school is not my thing,” she always add.

She currently works at a pub which I hate so much but she will just not listen to me on finding another job. I can’t help her out in finding a new job simply because the job available at my disposal requires certain skills which she does not possess or what to even learn.

I am in love with her but I am scared forour future perhaps as a couple will be awful. I am very confused right nowthat I have been avoiding her.

I need your help, kindly advice on what to do.
Thank you.

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Written by Abena Magis

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