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My Girlfriend Wants to Destroy My Life

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Thank you for your great work. Let me go straight to the point. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years.
Our relationship has been characterized with ups and downs. From the beginning of the relationship, aside her mingling with other boys which I was not comfortable with, I can’t point out anything that bad about her.

She’s beautiful and kind to me that she could give me even her last money without thinking twice. She wasn’t putting pressure on me because she understands my status as just a national service person at the time. In fact she’s been a good girl to me with all her support even financially.

Now, there was this time I suspected she was seeing one “papa No” (sponsor).
I complained but she denied it. We live in a separate regions. She once visited me and I realised that she’d cleared all chats between her and the “papa No.” She and I were viewing pictures on her phone when a whatsapp message pop up
It was the ” papa no.”

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He was worried as to why he’d not heard from my girlfriend since she left.
I realised from the message that she lied to the man that she was visiting her sick mother. This made me very annoyed that I threatened to quit the relationship.

She then explained to me that, she hasn’t considered dating the man thus there’s nothing sexual between them. The man has only been given her money periodically. I didn’t believe that so I hacked her whatsapp just to confirm my fears. She left and during their whatsapp conversation, I realised all the money she came with were all given to her by the married man. I got extremely furious and called for a break up.

She told me one day that the man has been married for two years+ but wanted her to give him at least a child because it looks as if he and the wife can’t give birth.
She said she immediately cut him off upon realising his intentions. I let it go and we became cool after that.

My girlfriend is someone who’s naturally fair in complexion and extremely beautiful but there was this time she told me she wanted to take a whitening pill with a reason that she’s not shining enough for me. I asked her if I’ve ever complained about her complexion.

During our conversation I got to know that she wanted to take the pill because of an old time lady friend of mine. Welost contact a few years after SHS is 2013.

I once told my girlfriend about the lady and I and how most people including her friends thought we were dating because of how close we were on and off campus. But in reality we were just close friends.
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Somewhere in September this year, my old time friend and I established our friendship once more after so many years. I always tell my girlfriend everything that happens in my life. In fact I don’t hide anything from her so she was aware we were communicating. My friend is naturally fair in complexion.

I once updated her on my whatsapp status and my girlfriend thinking she’s fairer than her wanted to take the whitening pill and because to her, I was giving much attention to my friend.

Since then my girlfriend has always been telling me to impregnate her because she feels the things she did against me in the past and my renewed relationship with my old time friend will ruin our relationship.
She feels getting pregnant will keep me to her but within me, I know she’ll be the one I will get married to. Since then I’ve been careful about the pregnancy issue.

My main issue here is that, I’ve just been employed by the government so I traveled to the Central region to complete my recruitment. I returned and had to stay in Accra for 10 days. My girlfriend told me she was expecting her monthly period 4 days from the day I arrived. Because it’s been long since man enjoyed that sweet thing, man couldn’t wait for the period to be over before enjoying.

We did it but unfortunately we didn’t get any contraceptive so she missed her period. After one week she hadn’t still seen her period so we all suspected she’s pregnant. We all discussed that, there’s no way she should give birth now. I’ve just been employed and I would be paid an accumulated salary for the first time after 6 or 7 months of my employment so
she keeping the pregnancy will put so much stress on us since she will also be out of her job because it is not a government work.

I thought she understood me very well only for me to leave and her behaviour to change. We were waiting for at least 2½ weeks to test for the pregnancy.
The two weeks came and this girl will not confirm to me that she is pregnant or not.

When I called too, I realised she didn’t want to open up to me until recently she confirmed that, she is pregnant and that she is going to keep it. I became angry and asked her if she wants to destroy my plans

Right now she is threatening to call my mother and Inform her about the pregnancy.

Madam Abena I am confused right now.
How would a girl who I thought has always been understanding would want to do this??
I’ve always wanted to give my wife and children the best of life.
How do I handle this?

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Written by Abena Magis

Comments

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  1. Really you want her to abort the baby because of your plans how about her life too massa man up and do the right thing🙄🙄🙄

  2. Please allow her to put to bed. You will be proud of her decision now. She has proved to u that there is no “papa no’

  3. You mean she wants to destroy your life by keeping the baby. Are you really serious at all. Abortion isn’t an option in this case.

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