My Girlfriend’s Finances Scares Me


Thank you very much for this
wonderful platform. I am man of 30 years and my girlfriend is 25 years. She had a daughter before we met who I can say is her utmost priority and her source of joy. She isn’t in any contact with her baby daddy which I made my investigations and found out that it’s true.

We were friends for sometime before we started dating 2 months. She is working and
has rented an apartment which I think is a bit costly. She lives alone with her 5 year old girl. She is a very caring lady, a good cook, respectful and smart and above all she isn’t the demanding type. She is really a good person among the ones I have been with.

I give her money even though she doesn’t ask but I’m just trying to let her know I’m responsible. She also buys gifts for me sometimes. On days when she doesn’t cook she pays for dinner when we go out. She also pays her own bills and does everything for herself.

Now my problem is, I’m also working which I receive a very good pay but my fear is her standard of finances. Her daughter attends one of the good and rich schools. Weeks ago, she was going to pay her kid’s fees and I asked her that since it’s a very nice school, how much is the fees and she said GHS2000 a term. I was like, “what? It’s too expensive!” Aside that, she is really responsible and makes sure her kid doesn’t lack anything. She is a definition of a good mother.

After dropping the kid at school, she left for work and I did same. I went to visit her in the evening and told her the fees for her daughter
is too expensive so she should let her attend a less costly one. To my surprise she told me I have no right to tell her what to do when it comes to her daughter. She said, “did I ask you to pay her fees? I am working and I can pay it and I already have investments which is what I’m using to pay her fees.”

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I can’t be with her because her standards are too high. She has already bought land whiles I haven’t even bought one yet. She takes
care of her family especially her mom by giving her money monthly. She is working very hard to live her best life but I feel like it’s too much so I told her if she can’t listen to my idea then I can’t be with her. She told me she has really suffered in life and now that she is working she won’t allow her family or her daughter lack anything so if I can’t be with her then I can leave her alone. I want to know if I’m being authoritative or if I made a good decision by calling for a breakup?

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Written by Abena Magis


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  1. Trust me, every parent wants the best for the child but we are tempted to believe that expensive things are the best. For all you know, there are other schools that charge less but perform better. What you needed to have done was to provide her with options but not to outrightly condemn the school on the basis of the fees. She was angered because you are not even the biological father. It is sad for some people who think they labored in the past to project their children in a different limelight. These kids grow up without any sense of responsibility for themselves and mostly depend on their parents even in their adulthood. In your part, it wasn’t bad to have talked about it but the approach was wrong. Go back and let her know you meant no harm.

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