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My Husband Doesn’t Know That I Can’t Birth

AUNTIE ABENA,

This issue about abortion really worries me because I’ve kept this as a secret from my husband. I was in a relationship with a guy for 5 years before I met my current husband.

My ex boyfriend was my first guy but he cheated on me so many times. I will catch him, he’ll apologize and I’ll forgive him because I loved him so much. There was even a time he used akpeteshie to swear that he’ll never cheat on me again but he still cheated on me. When it became too much for me, my mother warned me to leave him or she’ll disown me so I ended things with him.

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Dating different men was never my intention in life and I made up my mind that the second guy will be my last stop. Lo and behold, I met my husband. We started dating but one thing he said was he wanted to marry a virgin because he’s a virgin. I loved him because he took very good care of me. I didn’t want to leave him for another guy who will come and mess me up. A friend helped me with some fake medicine which I used after we got married. He saw the fake blood and I’m naturally very tight there so he didn’t know the difference.

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Now auntie Abena, to my problem. My ex boyfriend made me abort several times. He always said he’s not ready and we aborted 5 times. The 5th time I almost died because I didn’t know I was pregnant and was still menstruating. He forced me to go for the abortion which caused me so much pain. I never told my husband because he thinks I was a virgin before we married.

Never did it cross my mind that I won’t be able to give birth because of the 5 times I got pregnant but it’s been almost 4 years and I’ve never even miscarried once. I exercise very well, take good food and been to different fertility clinics. They all said I have no issue with childbirth neither does my husband but here lies the case that I can’t get pregnant.

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I don’t know how to tell him because he’s now planning to fly us to India to see a man there who can help. I’m hoping this man can help but what if I still don’t get pregnant? I’m so scared I’ll lose him. Should I tell him now or should I wait? For how long should I wait? Please help a confused sister na mabr3. Thank you

Written by Abena Magis

Comments

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  1. Don’t tell him because you will do more harm than good…
    Follow him to India and if it still doesn’t work out then just find a way to make him divorce you and live your life whiles the man goes and gets a woman to marry

  2. My dear all what u need now is prayers. Pray to the almighty to come to Ur aid. And for ur husband don’t tell him what happened in the past it may destroy your marriage… Hold on till u meet the man in India who knows he may help. But if it comes to be the same results. Please for the love u have for Ur husband allow him to marry a second wife. In some cases like this, when Ur husband marry the second wife and she is able to give birth her luck will fellow u and u also get pregnant. In this situation u need to be patient. I wish u well dear. But don’t spoil Ur marriage with ur own mouth….

  3. No matter how long it takes, the secret would one day come out. You may be free and have peace now but have you ever taught about the future.? perhaps your ex- boyfriend still leaves . Again, did you bother to know the side effect of the medicine your friend gave you? Truth is bitter but it set a person free from future trauma.
    Love is patience and doesn’t take into effect the mistake of the pass. 1 Corinthians 13:1-8. If your husband loves you, he will stay and love you more. Stay bless and have faith.

  4. Abortion does not lead to infertility generally if it is done well. There is a significant percentage of childlessness in marriages where the cause is not know to doctors.
    You have options see a gynaecologist, you two can agree on a divorce. It is not the end of the world.

  5. My dear, I think you need to wait till you come back from India and when it’s still the same, you should not tell him cox you will surely lose him sake of trust issues . Just think twice about your decision

  6. Since non of the professionals u hav visited has not told u yu are not getting pregnant bcuz of the abortions I think u shld leave the past in the past… Do not ruin yrself becuz of yr past wrongdoings… We all in one way or the other have secrets… All the best

  7. I think you should hear it from your own mouth instead of someone else’s.
    What if the Indian sees that you had some abortions?
    It’s time to tell the truth my sister and perhaps God will show you favor please.

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