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My Husband, His Side Chick & I

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

My husband and I dated for five good years before we got married in early 2018. From the beginning, we didn’t have any problems apart from finance.

However within a few months of us getting married, he started chatting with numerous ladies and the conversations between them were not good for someone who was a married man. I approached him and we solved the issue but through one way or the other, he did the same thing. He boldly told one of the singers in our church that he still loves her despite the fact that he is married. So ever since we got married, our major issue shifted from finance to his affairs with other ladies.

In March 2019, he hit me because I found out he was still cheating with a lady in the church we both attended. I couldn’t handle the issue again so I reported him to our Pastor. Our pastor really talked and cautioned him against such life as it will only bring curse upon his life. The mistake I did was thinking this man had changed.

During the lock down this year, he lost his job so I linked him to one of our Pastors. He was given a job but due to distance was given a small room in that community to manage. Currently my baby and I are back at my late dads house ‘because hubby couldn’t afford to pay our next rent.

Three weeks ago, he mistakenly posted a lady on his Instagram page. When I called him, I jokingly asked him if that’s “our second wife.” He thanked me for drawing his attention to it and later removed it claiming it was a mistake.

Auntie Abena, I let that issue go and was thinking about myself one day when a lady sent a friend request to me. To my surprise the lady was the same girl he claimed he mistakenly posted on his IG page. My curiosity led me to do much research about her.

I checked the pics on her profile and one gave me a shock. She was in my husband’s small room (the one provided by my pastor) wearing of his shirts and braless as well. Eiiii what a beautiful coincidence!

She sent me emojis after sending me the friend request

Luckily, I saw her contact on her About Section and called her. I asked her if she knew me from anywhere because had sent me a friend request and love emojis to my messenger inbox. She asked of my name and when I told her she hanged the call up. I called again and asked her “madam do you think I don’t know what is going on between you two?”

With fear she hanged up the call again. She refused to pick my calls again. I called my husband and this was his reply, “please calm down I will explain everything. Please I am driving. I beg.”

Aaaah woow which gave me the clue that I was right in suspecting the two of them. Later the lady who had refused to my calls sent me an sms

Message from the side chick

“You don’t know how to take care of your husband. Fine girl like you eiiii wiase.”

Imagine me thinking she was older only to find out to my surprise that she was born in 2002. Just 18 years. Hmmmmm my husband is cheating on me with a young girl hmmmm.

I couldn’t handle all these again so I went to talk to the pastor who blessed our marriage. He called for a meeting and we both attended. My Pastor asked him seriously that I were to be the one doing this to him, will he be happy? My husband said no. Pastor told him he needs a deliverance.

Now to my people out there reading this, this is the 16th time he is doing this to me but it’s finally that I’ve caught him by having proof.

I have really checked through my life very well to see if I am not doing what’s right

  1. He doesn’t even like garnishing of food. He can eat banku and okro throughout the year and I prepare it the way he wants it.
  2. My vagina is really cute of which he even testified about that to our Pastor
  3. I gave birth through CS so my vagina is intact
    4. He married me as a virgin
  4. I have remained slim from my single time to marriage to pregnancy to breastfeeding and now I haven’t gained any extra weight
  5. I wear beautiful clothes all the time and make sure I look beautiful for him always so I don’t know what Mr P wants. I am really frustrated.

Instead of breaking up with the girl and let’s see what’s up, he has rather gone to inform her that he will divorce me and be with her. Our church doesn’t permit divorce anyhow except on severe cases though.

What even worries me… Hmmmmmm
I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say. And I have issues with depression. I want to be strong and take care of my baby girl but I can’t forget the things he’s done especially when I remember the sex thing.

Auntie Abena please let your cherished fans advice be on how to take those thing off my mind and gather strength to pass through. My parents are no more and I have no friend except for my little brother. If possible get me a friend I can take to release some stress

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Written by Abena Magis

Comments

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  1. Girl please walk…… he’s going to kill you. He had no bone of remorse in his body. It will hurt but since you take good care of yourself, you will find someone who will love, cherish and respect you. As for the church and divorce,….. please 16 times of cheating within 2 years is enough grounds. I don’t know you but I need you alive, your baby needs you alive.

  2. Pretend you’ve a boyfriend. Do things that suggest you’re enjoying the company of someone new. Mem like to know the worth of women through the competition they face from other men. He will start looking at you differently out of jealousy. His behaviour is this way because he thinks you’ve got no where to go. Create a fake friend and start flirting, hiding to make phone calls and protecting your phone when messages come and he will start his suspicions. Lead him on and when he knows he may be losing u to someone else he will start looking at u differently.

  3. Please i want be her friend some one to rely on in times like this if i can get in touch i would be happy we’ve been through similar strangles.

    • My sister, love urself more n ignore him. I can feel ur pain, just be happy. D Lord is in control. I wish I can tell u my story. Hmmmmmmm

  4. Pls dear look up to ur child, ur brother n let them b ur strength dear, dnt go through this stress becos of a man, u alive n strong n he does this to u, so just imagine if I dead or sick that u cnt do anything, my dear u have two things to live for ur brother n child they should be ur priority now… Call me on this 0203527709 if u need anyone to talk to

  5. Hello sister, I was in the same situation. it is not easy, get someone to talk to and seek encouragement from God words(Holy Bible apps). find something doing to keep you busy.

  6. Hello Sis. It not easy buh just pray and take your brother and child to be ur new family and forget abt the friends. Friends won’t solve the problem they might add up to the depression. Just trust in God that everything will be fine and your husby will come back.

  7. Which one is severe case? The Bible permits divorce on reasons of sexual immorality…do what’s best for you before he brings you diseases wai

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