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My Husband is Becoming a Hindrance

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Please I need advice because I’m very worried. I’ve been married for 6 years now. My husband has been the only man I’ve ever been with. Auntie Abena, he has gone through hell and back just to make me who am I today by taking care of me when I was in tertiary. I’ve finished and things are moving on very well. Even though I earn more than him I give him all the maximum respect.

My problem is that I have opened few businesses which are very successful. When I got pregnant we decided to buy a new car. I bought it and my husband told the people around us that he was the one who bought the car and also said the business I established on my own belongs to him. Auntie Abena, they all believed him because they know I’m from a poor background.

I am the quiet type and don’t like to discuss my marriage issues with others. Because of my silence when he’s saying all these things, all his family members believe that he’s the one behind our wealth but it’s not true. My husband doesn’t want to open up to them that I’m the one doing the major part. Even though he’s also working, the pressure from his family members alone isn’t letting him save.

Just recently, I discovered one business that yields a lots of profits. Fast forward I channelled $40,000 into the business and it’s doing great but my husband doean’t want me to open up to my own mum about my business because he’s still portraying that the business is his. A friend of his heard about the investment and asked him about it.

Instead of my husband to tell his friend to ask me since I know much about the business, he rather gave him the tutorials which didn’t go well so the friend did not invest. When I complain, he gets worried and won’t even sleep and would be accusing me of being ungrateful. That he has suffered to make who I am today.

With our 3 bedroom house, he started it and I completed it but every time, he talks about the way he suffered to build that house and doesn’t even mention my name. Even if I talk and someone says, “your wife is sensible,” my husband will respond that he taught me that. Eii!

Right now, I want to hold seminars to talk about my business but he says No. I’ve gotten a few customers abroad, they have sent me invitations and I want to meet them but he says no and that I should rather concentrate on taking care of my children. He says I should focus on my profession (Nursing) and stop becoming money conscious.

What should I do to let this man know that I don’t have anywhere to go so he should rather help me bring out what is in me to the world? Sometimes I think of separation because I want him to feel my absence. Is it the right thing to do? I’m very worried about this. He keeps living a sham and doesn’t want people to know that I’m the one rather making it.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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