DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
Good morning to you and the manofans. Sorry to disturb you in your DM but I want to share my view on the financial secrecy in marriage most especially on women part. Growing up I witnessed a lot from my parents so I learned from it without anyone advising me.
My mum at that time was selling abrokyire home used goods. She really had money and my dad was a painter who used to do small scale farming too. Mum didn’t hide her finances from my dad which he took advantage of. I remember how my dad wouldn’t put housekeeping money down when leaving for work but would expect food when he returns. Not that he didn’t have money but abro nti (deliberate). Mum was footing most of the bills in the house including rent.
I remember how on three occasions, she wanted to build properties but anytime she told my dad since he’s the man to help in the acquisition of the land, he’d tell her that area was waterlogged and wouldn’t help. That they shouldn’t purchase the land. He later came to borrow the money from my mom that he’d won a contract and has to start with his money. Mum gave the money to him as a loan but never got it back. This happened again and again. Sometimes he will take her money to do farming but won’t pay back. I observed and learned my lessons.
I’m married now, I have some savings but my husband thinks I am broke because I don’t disclose so much to him. I won’t repeat my mom’s mistakes. Though we’ve built, I helped with some money which my husband thinks I borrowed from the bank. It’s from my own account, which of course he paid back.
Now my mom and dad are separated, and mom is still renting whiles she could have been in her own house, and it hurts. Per experiences, people develop attitudes and characters to protect themselves. I contribute in home keeping too, but won’t let my whole world out. After all WHO KNOWS TOMORROW. Please hide my identity. Thanks.