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My Life is in a Mess Because of My Marriage Mistakes

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I’ve been following your posts and a reader of your page. I have some pertinent issue(s) I’ll need your help with, which is about my relationship and my marriage.

I have been dating a lady since 2014. We got along very good but occasionally got angry at each other. This attitude continued until in 2016 when she forgot about my birthday in March. I waited for 2 weeks before asking her why she didn’t wish me. Her response was that it eluded her. She came over to apologize but I felt a bit proud and she left. She was nearly involved in an accident after she left my place but, she was good thereafter.

We came back together but something happened again which made me go in for Lady 2. Though I went in for the new lady, I still loved her until I got Lady 2 pregnant and was compelled to marry her. I knew I had to tell Lady 1 but it was really a tough decision for me so I rather informed her that I wanted to continue my studies and that will delay her so she should go ahead and marry any guy she fancies (knowing very well what I’d done).

She however got to know the truth the following day. She was angry and I felt her pain. The thing is though I had to marry Lady 2 because she was pregnant, unfortunately she lost the baby after we got married. That even angered me the more on why I didn’t just allow her to deliver first. Since then, any love I felt for her vanished and anytime I saw her, I just became angry. She got pregnant again for me though.

Having realized my foolishness, I went to plead with Lady 1 for us to come back but her fear was her father since I had to compensate him for not marrying his daughter. That wasn’t a problem though since we in the process had an affair and she was aware that I have a child.

I tried to ensure I get a divorce from Lady 2 since I’m only enduring the marriage but she refused. I kept pushing for it until I got her pregnant again and I didn’t know how to explain to Lady 2.

On January 2, 2021, she got married and I’ve since not been myself. I really feel like dying anytime I see her posts on her WhatsApp status. My life is in bad taste now and I’m depressed and frustrated. I can’t enjoy my life and I’m feeling confused because I’m going to have to endure the humiliation my wife is putting me through for the rest of my life. I lost my job all through the frustration from my wife’s refusal to grant me a divorce and my life is just at the mercies.

I really need your help since I prefer death but anytime I see my children, I keep crying since I don’t know what will happen to them in my absence. This is my story and I need your advice.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send to manokekame@gmail.com or send us a message via Hujambo by clicking HERE.

Written by Abena Magis

Comments

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  1. This is serous oo. Pls don’t kill yourself. Stay strong for your kids and pray. While at it, work on your own relationship. See what your marriage is lacking and try to fill in that. With patience, you’ll learn to tolerate and love lady 2.
    For lady 1, if you really love her like you said, then let her enjoy her own marriage and be happy. Like I said, with time and prayers, the pain will go and you’ll learn to love your wife.

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