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My Married Lover

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DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
I’m single but my lover is married. I met him 2 years ago when I was doing my Masters. We became friends, started talking and got very close. He confided in me so much that I was surprised sometimes. He gave me access to his phone, told me of his every day plans, told me about his past, his family, his wife and everything else about him.
He was able to tell me of his impotency which he realized after marriage and how his wife doesn’t respect him because of that. He’s 40 and very rich. I suggested they could try other medical means but he keeps saying no. That he won’t go any extra mile for his wife since that’s all she’s interested in. He doesn’t really mind not having kids but plans on adopting after he’s finally able to divorce her.
At first I actually thought he was framing up stories just to get me but I found out it was all true. He saw that I doubted at a point because I was really asking questions. He then said he’ll let me watch what went on in the home because he had a secret camera his wife didn’t know about. He told me he was gathering evidence for a divorce. That no one will believe him due to the perfect picture his wife paints outside.
The day I watched the video of what really happens in his home, I was really shocked. The lady insults him and says all sorts of things to him. She’s even brought in a man several times in his absence to have an affair with. Strangely I understood her pain for being unable to give birth. After spending a lot of time together, I told him I felt like I was interfering with his marriage. I can’t have a lover who is married. He needed to give his wife the same attention he was giving me. Yet, he said I’m the only one who makes him happy.
Somewhere last month, I sent him a message that I want to cut him off for him to work things out with his wife. He came crying and begging me that I should just make him happy. If I’m not exaggerating, this man has spent millions on me ever since we crossed paths. I feel indebted to him because of that too. I don’t ask him yet he keeps showering me with gifts. Anytime Apple releases a phone, he comes for the one I’m using and gets me the latest one. It’s not as if I really give him anything in return (I mean sex).
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We’ve had it before but it’s been months now though we meet up almost every weekend either at my place or a hotel. We haven’t been intimate for a while. He’ll say my presence, how I pamper him, make him laugh and my respect for him is enough but I really feel bad about everything sometimes.
Though I’ve seen how bad the woman is treating him I feel they should work things out and I shouldn’t be there for him again. And again I feel I’d be a bad person after all he’s done for me. It drains me mentally and I really don’t know how to go about things. I would appreciate any advice your fans will give me. I’ll be reading comments, thank you

Written by Abena Magis

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  1. I understand what you are going through, but remember there is no smoke without fire
    I am sure when you hear the wife’s side of the story you might even hate this angel of a man. He wants something from you hence wld do all it takes. But one day when you finally settle down,ask yourself if it’s all going to be this rosy and cozy. Do unto others as you would want it to be done to you. The woman may be retaliating what Mr Perfect gives out to her

  2. Lady what u did is right.. you cant be the reason for their divorce… let him divorce first then u also move on wit ur plans…. but note do not marry him because u feel indebted to him…..

  3. He cheated on his wife with you because he wasn’t happy and all that .. patching up things with his wife might not work but tell him to officially divorce his wife before you continue the relationship with him, however would you be happy if you marry him knowing he can’t have kids with you? Mind you if you marry him and get fed up along the way and start maltreating him he would cheat on you too…the decision is yours

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