DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
I need your audience assistance in dealing with a very sensitive issue.
I am a 26 year old woman who’s been married for a year and few months, we have a one year old boy together. Actually I was a few months pregnant before we got married, my husband wasn’t forced to marry me as we both already had plans of getting married but we pushed it up because of the pregnancy.
Fast forward, I’ve had a tough time with my husband and my mother in law for some months now. My husband has suddenly turned into a mummy’s boy right after we had our baby. They wouldn’t let me go anywhere with my son even if I’m traveling and won’t return same day. They rather take him and ask me to go or stay till it’s convenient for them to let me go with him with a lot of flimsy excuses so I end up not going.
The first time it happened with my mother inlaw, my husband didn’t do anything about it. He also didn’t want me to go. I tried so many times to advise him to desist from allowing his mum to interfere in our marriage but nothing changed. From my point of view he felt his mum was protecting his interest. He wasn’t the type who allowed her to interfere in his issues but everything changed so complained to my parents and both mothers ended up not talking to each other. My MIL even stopped picking my mum’s call.
Now this has also happened with my husband twice, the last one was in November last year but this time around I left. We went to their end to resolve the issue and ask why they always take a baby as young as less than a year from his mother but both mothers ended up quarreling and the issue wasn’t resolved. My husband on the other hand has been rude to my mum with the excuse that she spoke harshly towards him which he claims provoked him to also retaliate by giving “cheeky” comment to her words. I got really upset with him and I still am for that act.
My mother and siblings are advising I leave the marriage because I wouldn’t have peace. They’re afraid that one day my MIL and husband might throw me out and take all my children from me. My dad on the other hand is advising that I take my time in dealing with a sensitive issue such as divorce. He says I need to be prepared emotionally, financially and psychologically which has also been my decision.
My husband is still apologizing for everything and has promised not to do that again, and for the sake of our child I’ve decided to give him another chance but my mother is threatening to wash her hands of the marriage. She feels bitter towards them and I perfectly understand her. I am also thinking about the impact of a broken home on my son which has got me thinking.
My husband and his family have scheduled a date to come see my family and apologise. I have decided to forgive and give him a second chance for the sake of our son, if it doesn’t work out then I will walk out of the marriage.
I’m confused to know if I’m doing the right thing considering the different advice from both my parents. I do not want to regret this tomorrow. Is this the best decision?Please help.