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My Mum Secretly Listens to Us

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I’ve been a silent reader for a long time but this time I have to open up about something. Hmm. It’s too big for me to carry alone.

My mum is a widow after dad died about 8 months ago after a very short illness. Their marriage has been a good one. Though they were always fighting, you dare not become a third person because they’ll make up and you’ll be on your own (we’re 3). We knew how much they loved each other though.

Dad’s death hit her so hard and she’s become very thin. We became worried and decided to have her visit since we all have kids, at least her grandchildren around her can help her cope. Because I’m the last baby, mum first went to my big sister but after 2 weeks, big sis said mum has to come to me ???? She made the whole thing biibi (someway) because when I asked why not the second born, she was like, “is it wrong to have your own mother come and stay with you?” I felt bad but agreed and went for mum.

Let’s go to Nairobi and Dubai this July

She’s been here for almost 2 months but I think I know why big sis made her come here. I just realized that anytime my husband and I are having sex, mum comes to peep from the door. Junior found out and told me but how he said it (innocent baby) you’ll have to think through before knowing exactly what he saw. I decided to lay a trap by waiting till my husband was deep asleep. Then I went to stand by the door making soft sounds and caught her.

I’ve done this 3 times and at different times. On the 3rd time when I confronted her finally, she said she’s finding it tough coping after dad’s death. She didn’t say anything more, that was last week. Then this morning, she came to beg me to continue having sex with my hubby because she’s missing dad and just needs those sounds. I’m actually seeing my red that’s why but she thought it’s because of her. I took her to a porn site and she was shouting evil, evil ???? but what she’s been doing is what?

Anyway problem is, is this something to tell my husband? Also, I think maybe this is why my big sister made her come to live with me. Because she’s refused to tell me the exact reason, what if I confront her and tell mum’s secret to her? She’s very close with our second born who is a town cryer. I’m not feeling comfortable with the situation too.

PS: we did the funeral and everything at the family house and it’s affected mum. Anytime she goes there, she starts crying that he wants to take her away which is why we wanted her away from there for sometime.

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Written by Abena Magis

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