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My Son Will Never Forgive Me

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I know my marriage is over. It’s just left with the truth to make it end but I’m scared and worried about how it will affect my 14 year old son because that boy is everything to me.

My husband and I met when I was 16 years and I got pregnant when I was 17. He initially refused the pregnancy but his uncle stood in to make him take full responsibility. Uncle also promised to help me with my schooling since my parents washed their hands off me.

Fortunately or unfortunately, that baby didn’t make it and I miscarried at 5 months. Everyone thought I’d aborted it which wasn’t true and the insults and name calling was too much. This his uncle took me to stay with him and saw me through school. I was still living with him when he got married and had a kid.

I was in nursing training when my husband came to ask for forgiveness and we got back together. I got pregnant again at age 21 and we got married in a simple ceremony sponsored by his uncle. This man said we’re too young to raise a family while renting and built a house for us which is where we’re living in now.

My husband always wanted to travel and got the opportunity to travel. He was gone for almost 9 years before he was deported back to Ghana with nothing. Though he womanizes, that hasn’t been a problem for me because my first love has been his uncle.

Yes. My son is for his uncle, not him. This man has been a husband in every sense of the word even if I can’t call him that but he’s now introducing something which will affect everyone. He’s been divorced for some years and plans to remarry to me. He wants us to tell the truth about our affair and our child so that my husband can leave me. Though people will talk against us, they won’t be shocked if he later marries me.

He’s the major breadwinner of the family and knows people in his family will still support him. My worry is my son who has known only one man as his father. How do I break this to him and expect to be forgiven for such a secret coming out? My husband’s uncle is now making things so clear that he loves me it’s making my husband suspicious.

His Uncle openly said that he’ll leave everything to me and his kid in his will. He bought a new car for me on my birthday in November and warned my husband from using it like the RAV4 he took from me. He’s bought a different land and asked me what I want on it and is ready with the finance for it. I don’t know what to do. If you ask me if I love this Uncle, I’ll say yes because without him, I don’t know what life will be. I suspect my husband and I would have divorced years ago because he doesn’t like to work. He’s jobless and likes to take money from me and his uncle.

What do I do please? Please post and prompt me to read comments.

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Written by Abena Magis

3 Comments

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  1. My dear tell the truth and forget that good for nothing husband of yours. Follow your heart Take the right decision. Your son deserves the truth .

  2. This is a tough one. I would encourage you to talk to your son first. I usually don’t like to comment about marriages but I think you should let your son know everything you have shared with the world in this post. It’s best to be heard from you.

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