DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
Hello. Thank you for the good work you are doing. May your blessings be abundant.
On the step child issue…..
My step daughter bullies my now 8 months old daughter. Sometimes they play nice and everything but my 5 years old step daughter is “over possessive.” She won’t allow the baby o touch or play with anything in the house. She sees the toys are for her alone, even the ones I bought for the baby. She will snatch anything the baby is playing with and scream “it is not for you.”
I love my step daughter so dearly that everybody thinks I’m the real father due to how I care for her. The problem is, she keeps screaming “she is not my sister” whenever she tries to bully her little sis and we intervene. Sometimes, I look at my little baby and feel sad that she has to grow like this.
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I’ve tried psyching my step to understand that the little baby is her sister. But this little girl knows too much. She can even tell me her father’s name is Mr. So and So., which hurts sometimes because it is embarrassing that once we were out and she said it out loud that I’m not her father.
My wife doesn’t see anything wrong with it and keeps telling me she is only 5 and doesn’t know what she is saying. (But her father’s name is like a song in my house I keep hearing everyday).
I’m not complaining for myself, I’m just scared she might hurt the little baby because the impulse alone when she is angry (pushing the 8 months baby away. Even if she has a toy in her mouth she will drag it out with force).
I don’t want my two kids to grow up apart. I love them both and I want to keep them together. DIVISION IS NEVER MY STYLE. I want both to grow with love for one another. My wife on the other hand sees nothing wrong with any of this. She loves her daughter so much that she barely intervenes for the fear that she will cry. I don’t talk much on the issue because I don’t want her to think I’m choosing sides. But this is the health of a baby we are talking about and is quite disturbing. I just want the best for my family. Please advice me.