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My Stepson

Photo by Francois B. Arthanas on Unsplash

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA

My husband had a son with a lady he claimed he did not love before he and I got married. His parents made me understand they were going to keep the child with them so he doesn’t interfere in our marriage. Honestly I was relieved to hear that because I had an experience some years back which cost me my four year relationship which would have led to marriage.

I am naturally someone who adores kids. My ex-boyfriend had a daughter I really didn’t mind bringing the little girl into my home. Unfortunately, she found all sorts of problems for me. I gradually begun to lose interest in ex and I decided to move on.

Fast forward to my current dilemma.

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My husband’s baby mama has clearly stated she is only comfortable with my in-laws looking after her child. I am more than glad about it because I don’t want a repeat of all that drama I went through in the past..

The problem here is my husband does things in secret with my in-laws for my stepson. I’ve seen that he buys clothes and hides them in his wardrobe.

Interestingly, my stepson has started exhibiting traits of envy towards my little boy. Auntie Abena, I buy my son’s clothes myself and once a while get my stepson a few. I don’t think I am under any obligation to add getting stuff for him, to my headache. I remember I was abroad sometime ago and my husband mentioned he was sending me money to buy stuff for his child.

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I made him understand there and then that I was going to share the money equally between the two kids since he was trying to act smart. He expects me to file for him to get a green card abroad. But, I have cautioned him that he is not coming with his son because I have a strong conviction it would not end well

I once tried to give him advice about my stepson. He shut me up telling me the child has a mother. Aside this he has really insulted me because he told me to get his child stuff. I also told him he can’t tell me what to do with my money. I am sorry but I am beginning to lose interest in the marriage. I am also very skeptical about making joint property with him because I don’t trust him.

If there is any other way we can resolve this, please advice. Thank you

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Written by Abena Magis

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