DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
When I read some of the stories on your platforms about how people are taking advantage of their spouses in Ghana, then I laugh.
They say "travel and see"
That’s when you’ll see real wickedness. I stopped schooling in Ghana at the age of 14. I was then in JHS 2. My father died and my mother left to stay with my grandparents. I had to hustle because they couldn’t continue my schooling for me. I was first in class from P3 to Form 2 but such is life.
I had the chance to travel to Gabon when I was 19. A friend’s uncle took us there. I was a shoemaker there for 3 years before we got a link to Libya. We were going to cross the sea when our guide took all our money and sold us. I escaped and came back to Ghana. It’s a long story but I went back to Libya and was able to cross successfully to Italy and slowly made my way to Germany.
Life wasn’t easy there and at the age of 28 wanted to settle down. I met a lady, she was also from Ghana. Kwahu ni ba paaa ( a girl from Kwahu) who claimed she loved me. She was a student and traveled every holiday to Ghana. Every holiday, I’ll send items through her to my mother. My mother’s first phone I bought it for her. Made me happy to finally help my old lady.
I made this girl my all because over there it’s a lonely life. I’ll work all day and the little time I get I’ll be doing short courses. I’m more fluent in German than English though I can write the English well. I couldn’t be traveling like my wife so I told her we had to get married but she should do all the arrangements. One cousin was going to stand in for me.
We got married that way and we moved in together. She told me we needed to do business and made me invest in used tires. We shipped one 40ft container to Ghana. The money that we got from it, I shipped another container of used tires and a 20ft container of used fridges.
She went back to supervise the selling until she called me one day that thieves broke into the warehouse and stole everything. I made her come back. I was down but slowly raised more money for us to start doing business again.
After 3 years marriage, she hadn’t given birth. I was ok but my mother was the one asking for a grandchild. Then I found she was using birth control. I was shocked. We had a shaky time then she told me she was going to Ghana to start business.
I gave her what I’d saved. The plan was to sell used laptops since we’d rented the warehouse for 5 years. We bought a lot of laptops and accessories. She got to Ghana and said, she wanted to be at the warehouse and sell because she suspected the former workers there broke into the warehouse to steal those tires and fridges.
If she needs a type of laptops, she’ll tell me and I’ll send. 3 months led to 6 months getting to one year. I wanted her to come back but she’ll tell me to wait. Let’s make money first. One day, my mum asked me if my wife is pregnant. I said how possible? Almost a year then how can she possibly pregnant when I’m not there.
I asked my wife and she said, because she was always sitting down, she’d grown fat and her stomach had become big. My mother who had gone to see her wasn’t convinced but I trusted my wife. In the shipment, I added a treadmill for her.
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I was given the line to use Asylum to get citizenry and this made our communication on and off. Anytime we spoke she was always busy selling and she’ll tell me she’ll call later. After some time, when I call her she won’t pick.
A month later, she started calling me that she became seriously sick. We’ll talk normal though it was hard for me to forgive her. I spoke to her parents and they begged me to forgive her. Even apologized on her behalf.
One day, my mother called me and told me to come to Ghana. Things were getting ok for me officially so I agreed.
Then she said, “Kofi, if you love me as your mother the way a son should, don’t inform your wife. Just come.”
She refused to tell me why. I went to Ghana and got the shock of my life. The woman I called my wife was living with another man and they had a baby, a boy. They were living in a house they built. This guy wasn’t working, my wife was. She was selling for me so where did the money to build the house come from? From me.
I took 2 days to get all the information. She was shocked the day I went to the warehouse. She never dreamt it as I saw her holding a baby. Her baby daddy was there. He saw the situation and taking the baby, away bus. I demanded for all the sales she’d made that day and asked for the keys and all relevant documents.
I warned her what I’ll do to her if she stepped foot into that store again. She brought police there the following day that I’d taken over the store. Luckily for me, I always kept the copies of the photos of documents she sent to me on my phone. I went through our chats to show them when we spoke about the place and money I was spending.
2 weeks before I went there, she asked me for money for repairs of the shop and to buy extra chairs. I had all the receipts on my phone. The policemen looked at me and told me to be careful who I marry next time. I warned her never to try that on me again.
Since then, what we call woman. I’m not interested. I’ve a trusted person taking care of the warehouse and selling for me. I’ve built 2 houses all for rent. I go to Ghana to spend just 2 weeks and return. After my wife and I got divorced (we had only the traditional) she tried to put the blame on the guy that he used juju on her but I wasn’t interested.
They’re still living in the house she used my money to build. I didn’t want to pursue that angle. Even though I gave her money every month, I took it like she building the house was her reward for working for me. That’s the thinking that helped me let go of all these otherwise I’d have gone mad
My mother used to worry me to date again after that but massa I don’t have time for that. I’m just focusing on myself. I won’t marry here. I want to marry in Ghana but before I’ll do that then I’ve gone to settle there. I’m no longer interested in living in different countries from your wife. It won’t help. Women are weak. When they meet a handsome guy, who dresses nicely and fucks up well, they’ll fall for him.
It takes only those with self control not to mess up.