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Open Letter to Ladies: Sex is Not a Gift

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Trust you’re keeping well.
Kindly let the women understand one thing, SEX IS NOT A GIFT to be given to any man. Sex is not a favour granted to men because they’re in a relationship with them. CONSENSUAL sex is enjoyed by both genders. The women should stop making it seem as if it is only men who crave for sex. If she gives it as a gift, just ensure you’re the only one enjoying it. If she doesn’t cum, that’s her problem. After all you enjoyed your gift. 😂😂😂😂

I noticed a disgusting trend preceding 14th Feb where a lot of women made comments like “let me go shave his valentines days gift”, “give him a gift which is worth less than what he gave you” etc. These comments are a sad reflection of the mentality a lot of women carry into a relationship. Relationships are supposed to be mutually benefitting and not for one person to behave as if they’re smarter than the other.

What is the essence of giving you expensive perfumes, watches, cakes, dinners, flowers, cash gifts etc only to get boxers, handkerchiefs, singlets and neck ties in return (unless that is what you can genuinely afford)? In long something like this, you’re automatically sending a message of what value you place on your partner. You may not realize the effects immediately but you will realize it eventually.
There have been many occasions where I have bought nice and expensive gifts for women I’ve dated and would usually get boxer shorts, singlets, neck ties, socks, shirts and other things I really have no use for because I usually buy these things in bulk. I do not even wear worn out singlets and boxers to say that is the reason for getting such gifts.

Over time, I have resigned from acknowledging days like that and absolutely pretending as if those days do not exist. What is the use of getting a gift which has no functional use in my life? If you genuinely cannot afford an expensive gift, that is not an issue. There are other forms of inexpensive gifts which mirror the thoughts you have for your partner. Something as simple as making a video affirming your love to your partner would be enough for them if they understand your financial situation. It is the thought that goes into the gift that really counts to an equally thoughtful and understanding partner. We are not even asking for expensive gifts but rather thoughtful gifts.

One lady responded to a comment I made questioning her as to whether she thinks men are not special and deserve only boxers and socks as gifts posited that Cardi B advised that “if your man gives you flowers as a gift, give him grass in return.” I shook my head and told her that this same Cardi B bought a Lamborghini Aventador which costs $600,000 for her husband on his birthday. In return he bought a rolls Royce Cullinan which costs about $300,000 for her on her birthday so sure she can go ahead and follow her advice.

Women should stop following blindly the advice of the very people who will not follow their own advice and would sit back and watch you burn down your home as they make theirs a thrill to be in. Men and women are of equal value. None is more valuable then the other. Women should stop thinking they’re belittling themselves by buying expensive gifts for their partners. If it is a show of love and if you feel your partner’s love is equal to a pair of socks, don’t be angry if he equates his to a pair of Copper earrings next year on Valentine’s Day. Nobody remains a fool forever.

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One day the guy you think you’ve been fooling for years will learn sense and show you proper pepper. Personally, I’ve stopped accepting gifts and I give gifts when I feel like giving them. I won’t stress myself only to receive boxers, socks, white singlets and handkerchiefs. Am I a chief borborbor dancer? 😂😂😂😂😂

Gentlemen, please wise up. If she gives you boxers, socks and singlets, don’t get angry at all. Next year, give her socks, handkerchiefs, a dozen panties and a bar of chocolate. If she complains, kill your ears. If she decides to leave you, call her bluff and let her go away. Don’t comman kiii yourself because of small love.
Love is beautiful and it is supposed to be enjoyed by both partners who appreciate their worth and importance in your life. Same way ihn mama born be the same your mama born you. Balance your emotions with logic and you’ll weed out the unnecessary behaviour.

SEX IS NOT A GIFT YOU GIVE A MAN
Shalom 🙏🏽🙏🏽

Written by Abena Magis

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