DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
I trust you are doing great. I’m a little bit confused even though my intuition and logic tells me what to do.
So I met this beautiful and calm girl on your platform in July 2019. We became good friends and fast forward to the latter part of Dec that year, we started dating. She told me she had broken up with her ex because he kept asking for sex just like her previous exes but she was not ready for that.
I trusted her so much and believed everything she said about her life. She’s sweet, fun, naughty, jovial and friendly…the kind of lady I’ve always wanted. We became like best friends dating and we both happy with each other as she always said I made her happy.
6months into the relationship, I asked her how the relationship is going. She didn’t reply the message. I called and her phone was off. I woke up at 2AM just to see a message from her saying “Let’s break up.” In fact I wasn’t surprised because that wasn’t the first time.
The first time she said that which caused me some quick sharp pain in my heart was when a friend of hers showed me chats to prove that my girl was cheating on me. In the chat, my girlfriend was telling her friend to flirt with her boyfriend (a different guy) to find out if he loves her or not.
Unfortunately for the girl, the boyfriend failed by telling the friend that he didn’t have a girlfriend and wanted to date her. From the their chats my girlfriend still said she loved the guy and wouldn’t leave him. Even after seeing these chats, I told the friend I doubted my girl would do that. I chose not to believe the friend because I didn’t know her and her motive for telling me these. Though I brushed it over, I became vigilant after that.
As time went by, I noticed something. It seemed like I was the only one in the relationship and so I confronted her about the chats sent by her friend. She told me that girl is just not normal and always wants to create problems for her. I then showed her the screenshots between her and the friend.
She now stopped chatting with me. I called her but she didn’t answer and didn’t call back too. Then she texted me around 1 AM that we should break up without any reason. I tried calling her to explain things but she was showing me attitude (not answering my calls, telling me she’s busy then things)
She later called in the evening and I gave her two options, either she tells me about her friend and the suppose guy she said she was dating or how her friend got to know about the two of us. She chose to explain which I never believed it because what she said wasn’t tallying in anyway.
I allowed sleeping dogs to lie while we continued to date but with my brains at work and not heart again. We planned to meet since it was 8 months we started dating and hadn’t seen each other, just pics and video calls. It wasn’t easy for her to come (her parents are the strict type) but she came. It was a Saturday.
In fact it was one of the happiest day in my life. She was and still beautiful, with nice shape and everything you can think of being physically good about a lady. We did a lot of things including kissing. I could see happiness in her face which made me decide to forget everything that had happened previously.
As time passed, I realized she never talked about us but all she would ask is, “how are you?” Followed by, “how was your night?” and lastly, “have you eaten?” If I don’t bring up anything then that will be all for the day till afternoon or evening when I’m back from work and she will ask these automatic set of questions. I really appreciated her asking but it got boring.
I felt and realized she was not interested in the relationship but still loved that guy since she kept communicating with him and told her friend.
In november, she sent a pic of her to the guy, he uploaded it on fb and the comments her suppose boyfriend and a certain guy made on the pic kept me thinking and asking what’s going on. I confronted her again and she said he is just a friend. So I asked her if I can ask the guy, she saw the message but didn’t reply till 3hrs later before saying yes. I haven’t though.
With all these ones going on how we chat and call have changed. We can be chatting nicely and smoothly having fun but this girl in the middle of the chat will go offline and come back 30, 45 to 1hr time with something different. I will call her only to find out she is on a call. At times she’ll do this when we are discussing something serious about us. She will apologize and still do it.
Just last week Thursday we were chatting, when I realized she wasn’t replying so I called. She was making a call, she answered and we talked but she sounded like someone who is feeling sleepy so she finally said she wants to sleep. I ok. I waited for like 20mins and called back (my instinct told me to do so) and to my surprise, call waiting. I hanged up.
She now texted me good night after she had flashed me 1 sec.I wasn’t asleep so I saw the call but decided not to call back. This was around 12AM.
Auntie Abena, this is where my confusion is which I need your fans to help me understand. I didn’t trust and still have some doubts that she loves me or is really interested in me. I know the last thing a lady would send to her boyfriend is a nude pic so I intentionally asked her to send me some nudes pics of her. She sent it but her face was not showing.
We met for the second time and this time I tried to finger👆 her, she allowed me but no sex. After that time when I ask her for nudes, she shows her face in it together with her boobs and p***sy. So this got me thinking, why would she send these and still be dating other person or she’s sending him the same thing?
I also want to ask the guy who he is to my gf to know the truth. Why would she tell me to ask him if he is dating her? What if I ask the guy and he says they’re just friends and he tells my girlfriend that I asked him that, meaning I don’t trust her and she might break up with because of that.
So should I ask him or I should just stop for the truth to come out by itself? Please help me. Thanks.