DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
My mother inlaw did something I hated this morning. How can she suck my baby boy’s penis? And my husband is defending her too.
My husband is living with his parents. When we got married early last year, he told me we’ll move by the end of 2019. He kept postponing it till this year when he lost his job. I was pregnant by then so he told me to wait till this December. Hopefully by then, he’d have raised an amount of money.
I can’t say it’s been bad living here but I also can’t say it’s been good either. We live behind the main house and I mind my own business but my mother inlaw sometimes does things which make me regret being here.
She used to tell me the things she wanted to tell her son but didn’t want then she’ll lie. She once asked me why I’ll agree to live with my husband in his parents’ house. When I told him, he confronted her and she told him I was lying. Eiii. Hmmmm. He even forced me to apologize to her for lying. I started fearing her since then so I always limited my time with her.
I gave birth last week. My mum was with me all throughout. She came to pick me to the hospital, and was with me for almost 3 days there until I delivered. My husband would come and go but she still stayed with me for the 2 extra days until we were discharged.
We got here and she told me to go and sleep. That she’ll cook and bath the baby. I got up to a serious fight. My inlaw came to insult her that why should she come to her inlaw’s house without going to greet them? Mum said she told her that I was asleep and the baby too was asleep so she had wanted to cook. That way when the baby wakes up, there will be food for me to eat because I was still in pain. This woman didn’t understand. They fought over this and my inlaw slapped mum
I got to see the slap but this woman later told my husband that she never slapped her. She only wanted to pull the wig from mum’s head so we are lying. My husband got angry with mum. She also became very angry especially when he told her to apologize to my inlaw. Mum left the next day that she will never step foot here again.
Auntie Abena, we have an appointment to go and circumcise my son tomorrow. My inlaw bathed my son yesterday but I was in the kitchen. I didn’t see anything. This morning, I was removing his clothes when I entered and found her sucking his penis. He’s not even one week old.
I shouted “Sefa maame, what are you doing?”
She told me she saw something black on his penis. Like dirt so she was removing it. With her mouth? I called hubby to come home from church at once. When he came, I told him and she lied that she used her hand. That how can she suck her own grandson’s dick? She was making it look as if I was seeing things.
One thing she said which got me so mad was she saying, because my mother left and I don’t want her to bath the baby, I’m lying against her. I took my husband outside and warned him for always defending her. He knows the person she is so why is he always believing her.
What he said was, he suspects most of the time that she’s lying. He’s worried if he doesn’t back her, she’ll out of anger tell us to park out and his dad won’t have a say. Also, he doesn’t have money to rent next month so unless next year. Eeeei
I don’t think I can take this anymore. I’m thinking of leaving here but he’s saying I should wait till after the Naming ceremony. That one too, he says he doesn’t have money now unless next month. Even something small at home he says because of his stature in society, people will laugh at him if he does something small.
I’m 24 and he’s 32. Auntie Abena, I’m seriously having a whole rethink about this marriage. Do you think things can work out? How do I deal with his mother? I don’t think I can allow her to bath my son again but he’s saying I should sit and watch her. But auntie, I don’t want her to hold him again. What do I do?