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She Thinks I’m Dating Her Friend

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Good morning. God bless you for the lives you have shaped and saved through this platform. Now to the reason I had to send you this long text. My heart is troubled that I just couldn’t sleep. I just want to pour my heart out because I’m tired and frustrated after my woman thinking I’m having an affair with her friend.

We have been having some issues lately. Not that I did something wrong to her but it’s about how she relates with her ex. Auntie Abena, when we have issues, instead of us thinking through them on how to solve them, my fiancee rather chooses to engage with her ex. She has now become very comfortable with him and chats and talks to him all the time. This attitude of her entertaining the ex has been hurting me so I spoke to her about it but no show.


Auntie Abena, I know of only one best friend of hers, who is just like a sister to her from childhood. I became a bit close to her based on the good stuff she (fiancee) told me about her and one day I passed a comment that “you always fight me but your friend is rather fun to be with.”

This statement generated into a heated argument and but after reflecting on it, I apologised and the docket closed. She asked me to keep my distance from her friend which I agreed to it.


Auntie Abena, now her comfortability with the ex and her anger at the slightest thing, made me worry so I started talking to the best friend again. I even paid a visit to get once to talk about her friend’s attitude towards me these days. When I visited that day, her guy was around so I couldn’t talk to her about my reason for coming there though she kept assuring me that everything will be okay.

A few days ago, my fiancee told me she will be spending some days with her best friend. I then called her friend to delete our call history because if my fiancee sees it, she will say I have been discussing her with the friend even after telling me not to.

The friend wasn’t happy but she reluctantly agreed because I told her I have been clearing my call history with her.
Auntie Abena, now the issue is that my fiancee went through her friend’s phone and got my call history with her friend using Truecaller

She is now accusing me of having something to do with the best friend. She called me a monster and said that she made the biggest mistake of falling in love with me.

Even if I’m a dog, how can I date let alone have an affair with someone who is not just a friend but has now become a sister to her? Someone who has been there for her for the past twenty something years.
My pain is not about me but the poor innocent lady who was minding her business until I decided to worry her with my relationship issues.

I love my fiancee so much but she is hurting me with the least chance she gets. The painful thing is she rather says I’m hurting her without me knowing what exactly I have done to her. I just don’t know what to do again. Auntie Abena, some of the things she accuses me off i are completely unfounded. Nowadays because of this ex issues we hardly chat or talk happily and these things are weighing me down and she knows it. What do I do?

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Written by Abena Magis

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