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Should I Give Him Back His Money?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Good morning and thanks for your support and good works you have been doing. I met a guy on facebook about four years ago. He is based in the USA while I am here in Ghana.

We started talking and developed interest in ourselves so the friendship got to a level where we started dating. I told him I don’t like to be with married men. He told he wasn’t married but had a little girl. We were doing a video call one day when I saw a car seat in his car. I asked him why he still had one because I knew his girl was 7 years by then.

He told me a long story about a US law that until a child turns 7, they must use a car seat. Hmmm. Later I got to know he had a boy who was almost 2 years with the same baby mama. I really got furious and he told me that it was unintentional because the lady at first didn’t tell him she was pregnant.

Well I went cold for a while then we continued. Sometimes I’ll talk to this guy and he will lie that it’s either he’s taking his kids to their mother or going to take them from her just to prove to me they were not staying together. There were lots of questions I asked about his relationship with the kids’ mother and he lied in his answers.

One day I was on phone with him whiles he was at work. A fellow Ghanaian man came around but he didn’t end the call. I was listening to their conversation when the man told him he will bring his daughter to my guy’s wife on weekends to help her cook so that she learns how to cook since he is a single parent. Hmmmm after that convo I asked him about his wife and he again denied it saying I didn’t hear them well.

So for about two weeks I went cold on him till he later confessed with another lie that they had a contract marriage. The lady was in Canada and they got married so he could get a Canadian citizenship but she refused to grant him a divorce after the marriage and rather moved in with him. Now they have two kids but he is not happy

To make my story short, he was bringing me things to sell and the balance I am supposed to give him now is GHS1200 plus some money he was giving me every month to save which is around GHS4800.

He is now asking me for his money. I told him I can’t marry a married man and I don’t want to give him back his money because I feel cheated. He has wasted my time for four good years. Please I need advice on this. Am I overreacting? Should I give him back his money or not?

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Written by Abena Magis

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  1. My dear sis,u see life is full of troubles and mysteries and one cannot know when certain things happens in life.per ur story and what u’ve rightly said,it is very dangerous to date someone who’s already married. My piece of advice to u is to stay away from him if u don’t want to waste ur time and also want to have a brokenhearte.And as for the money don’t give it to him cos he has lied to u and has also wasted ur time all these four years.Leave him and forget abt him and move on with ur life.

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