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Should I Go On with the Marriage?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

God bless you for the good work you are doing. You’ve really helped some of us with your ideas. God bless you.

It’s about my husband. He did my Knocking and the Naming of my first born together. Now I’m living with him. At first he used to like everything I do starting from the bedroom to the kitchen to the dressing of the room, he liked everything I did but now he has totally changed.

He feels he has total control over everything. Even in the kitchen he tells you what to do, “take the cup from here. Put it here” or “do it like this. He doesn’t like anything I do. When I arrange the room the way it has to be, he doesn’t like it. He will change it.

Even when I dress up, he doesn’t like it. He will tell me he wants a long dress. When I wear long dresses he will be mad at me. When I complain he will be like “so for this long time you don’t know the dresses I want? You don’t know how I want my things?” but frankly speaking, he bought all the dresses for me.

That’s the same way I dressed up when he met me, even when I stayed with him at first. When I cook he’ll complain, “I told you I want this. I told you I want that.” I don’t talk when he talks. I don’t share my ideas. I don’t know why I’m always afraid of him.

It’s like I don’t want him to be annoyed with me so I always ask for forgiveness even when I’m not at fault. He insults me when he wants, and tells me I deserve it because of what I did. Sometimes he tells me marriage is like slavery so I have to keep quiet and now I’m really tired. He doesn’t even know when I’m in pain or when I cry.

He won’t even ask me why I am crying. Whenever we are out and sees any girl, he will be like, “this girl is beautiful” when I complain he will be like nothing. I really love him though sometimes I think I can change him but it’s not working sometimes I only get happy when he’s having sex with me. Are these good enough reasons not to marry him?

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com or send us a message via Hujambo by clicking HERE.

Written by Abena Magis

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