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Should I Sacrifice for My Bestie or Not?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Good day and thanks for your good works. We are grateful and may God bless you and all of us on this page. I’m 25 and he is 28. We’ve known each other for almost 5 years now. When I met him, he had a serious girlfriend who was very abusive.

Because he is a pastor’s son, his parents don’t want him to leave the girl because they think it would bring shame to them. He is also not bold enough to tell his parents what he is going through with her.

We’ve been cool for almost 5 years and he recently told me he’s had a baby with the girl but he doesn’t want to marry her. Sometimes he leaves the house at 2AM to come and sleep at my place because he has been beaten. He uses my account for his business transactions, has gotten me a car, and does everything a boyfriend would do for his woman.

He is so comfortable around me. Throughout these 5 years, we’ve kissed twice and had sex only once which was even a quickie. He is always saying he loves me and I feel he is always happy when he comes around me, he sleeps like a baby when he comes around that sometimes I leave him here to go to work. He is very kind and humble, rich, handsome and is everything a woman would want.

My problem is why would he still be in an abusive relationship to the extent of having a child and not run for his life. Because just last week he came to me with a bite mark she’d given him. I thought it was a lie until he gave me his phone and the messages the lady was sending was very pathetic. I am not a saint but I felt I won’t allow any lady do this to my brother.

My problem is, he claims he loves me but wants me to get pregnant for him and then after, my parents would obviously force him to marry me. He thinks with that he can save himself from the other lady. The truth behind my hesitation is though I really like him, I do not like I “love him” seriously biaaa to do that for him. I really feel the pain he is going through though.

The lady is now threatening take the child away if he tries to break up with her, and he doesn’t want that. I want to help him out because I am scared the lady might one day go to the extreme because, the security guard in his family’s house once told me my brother is going through hell so we should step in (the guard thinks I am his sister).

My people do you think I should go ahead and sacrifice for him or I should just let him find his way out himself? He is not a womanizer so it’s difficult for him to find someone by himself. I’m confused because he has become a part of me that I can’t equally do without but the love itself is not there. He is cool with my family but I don’t want to get close to his family because I don’t want to cause any problems for now. Please help me.

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Written by Abena Magis

3 Comments

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  1. How can you help him out? The only way you can do that is to get pregnant for him and marry him. But you don’t love the person so how is this possible? I suggest let him know that fact.

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