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The Right Way to Co-Parent

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Just call me Kobby. I want to comment on the story shared by the lady whose son is living with the baby’s daddy and also happens to be married, living with her husband’s child. I’m happy for them, as everything seems to be going smoothly. They’ve shown great maturity but they shouldn’t leave it at that.

Being co-parents of their children, they should let the step kids spend some quality time with the other parent they don’t live with. My woman recounted a sad story about how herself and younger siblings have never met their elder brother before.

Apparently, a man got my woman’s mom pregnant and denied responsibility. She kept the pregnancy through stress and turmoil until the kid turned 2 years. The man’s family then showed up and asked to keep the child and give him the comfortable life he deserved. The woman obliged, as it sounded like a good idea.

READ ALSO: My Stepson

Along the way, she got married to another man and they had kids. My woman’s mom went to visit her son from time to time but was told by the baby daddy’s family not to frequent the home to prevent the kid from crying. She obliged and kept her distance. The boy went to varsity, graduated and is now a big guy living responsibly.

The mom managed to reach him on phone and has apparently made several attempts to either visit her son or invite him to visit her and his other siblings but the boy always finds a nice way to brush her off. The son sends remittances to his biological Mom and siblings nonetheless. My woman says they don’t even have anything in common to chat about except the fact that they share the same mom.

She says when she texts him a simple “Hi” he’ll ask if she has money on her. If she replies in the negative, he’ll send her. (It’s both sweet and sad)? A couple of months ago, she showed me her brother’s picture and he was with a woman. They both had rings on their ring fingers so I asked about it. She said her bro has refused to marry despite incessant pressure from her Mom. Upon looking closely at the picture again she got convinced her brother had married without informing them.

Her Mlmom confronted him about it and he replied he didn’t invite the biological Mom because he didn’t want to hurt the step-mom. The biological Mom was heartbroken but forgave him. However, the boy still hasn’t met the other family and his half-siblings.

We must all learn from this and put in efforts to raise our kids together no matter what. If they happen to live with one of the parents, the other half must still make conscious efforts to stay in touch with the kid. Thank you.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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