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Which One is Better?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Please post for me.

It was just a no no for me to sleep with anyone who hasn’t proposed to me or shown me enough love to prove they can walk with me after sex.

I am very busy, and besides work, I believed in seeing porn once in a while when the passion is overwhelming, without touching myself and that works for me and is so enough, while I wait for the man that may show me they want me. Until I was affected by what passed through my ears which made me give in to real sex.

It’s sad for me to write that the physical sex has rather caused me so much pain, emotionally and financially. I was changed because of a series of messages from people that said sex is nothing and doesn’t mean anything at any time you have it. Almost everyone, even some pastor friends I have, they all said sex is like food and it’s a need 😪.

Worse of all, they said porn is worse because of the spiritual implications. Spiritual implications I don’t believe in. Why does all these look like a strategy to get me to sleep with them with no strings attached when I don’t need it?

This kind of sex happens with people that only flirt with me and we both find ourselves attractive. And not close to what I’m looking for, a man who has decided to choose me beyond lust. I am now confused between the freedom I get when I do that which works for me, and the force that drives me to engage in what majority thinks is better.

Please what do you think?

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

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Written by Abena Magis

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